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  • Heard in the Dare House

  • Josh: "Mom, can I play Mario?"
    Mom: "No Josh. Today is craft day. We're doing stuff for someone."
    Josh: "Yeah. I was gonna beat the game for Dad."

  • Anna: [Laying in bed, in a depressed voice]"Naomi, what do I do with life?"
    Naomi: "Uhh...how about you go to sleep?"

  • Mom: "Weird, I've always heard that song differently. But hey, what am I?"
    Anna: "A human being!"

  • Anna: [After being told to eat her dinner]"Mom, I took two bites! You can see the ground!"
  • Josh: "Man, I want to go to a casino."
    Mom: "What?!"
    Josh: "Wait. Is casino the same as gazebo?"

  • Jen to the kids: "Guys, don't forget toppings for your salad. The more colors on your salad, the better it is for you."
    Josh: "Even if it has Superman ice cream on it?!"

  • Anna"Huh? Craig has a list?"
  • Anna"Naomi, can you look at your calendar with your eyes closed?"
    Naomi"No. No one can, silly."
    Anna"Chuck Norris can!!"

  • Mom"Thanks to Naomi, who passed her headache on to me."
    Naomi"Pastor Headache? Who's Pastor Headache?!"

  • Darefamily: “Night, Pete. Night, Naomi. Night, Mom. Night, Dad...”
    Anna: “Night, vision!”

  • Anna: “Dad, do you believe in Santa?”
    Dad: “Sure, St. Nicholas was at the council of Nicea. He punched Arius in the mouth for his heresy…”
    Anna: “Hmmmm…I don’t remember seeing that in the video…”

  • Pete: "Josh, you know what the Pope is, right?"
    Josh: "Yeah. The stuff in the orange juice."

  • Anna: "Yeah! Let's get this starty parted!....Errrr...."
  • Josh"Bummer Mom, you're not ticklish. But I can still hurt you, because your nervous system is working!"
  • Josh"Sorry Grandma, I don't really like antiques...unless they have up to date stuff."
  • Naomi:"I'm not sure what I'm more afraid of, a whale or a shark, 'cuz I know how to fight a shark, 'cuz they're really weak in the eyes..."


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    Jennifer Paul Dare

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    • 12 seconds! How about you?

    Posted on August 19, 2010 by Paul and/or Jennifer Dare

    OK , so my co-worker sent this to me:

    Click to try it yourself

    My darling wife swears it’s one of those prank games that gets you to concentrate really hard then flashes some hideous image on the screen to scare you out of your chair.  I have played it several times and nothing happened to me, but my bride is convinced Frankenstein jumped out at her.

    How about you?  Can you settle this bet for us?

    If it’s just a harmless game, then how far did you last?  My record is 12.137 seconds.  The email this came to me in stated that the Air Forces uses this to test potential pilots.  Now if that’s true, then there’s the scary part!

    If something jumps out at you, I’m very sorry.  I suspected that too when I first received this but I was man enough to take the risk, and nothing ever happened.

    Have fun, either way.

    paul

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      Jennifer Paul Dare

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      17 minutes from Comerica Park, 15 minutes from Metro Airport, and 14 from Henry Ford museum. You don't even have to call first! (Oh wait, Jen said, "yes you do.")

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    • Notable quotable

    • "Being different is not legalism - legalism is when you try to earn your way to God through your good works - it's just holy living." -Laura Mouro
    • "I think the devil has made it his business to monopolize on three elements:
      noise, hurry and crowds . Satan is quite aware of the power of silence."-Jim Elliot

    • "I have learned that God’s silence to my questions is not a door slammed in my face. I may not have the answers—but I do have him."-Dave Dravecky
    • "Sin makes government necessary; sin also makes it necessary that government be limited."-Paul Edwards

    • "I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen not only because I see it but because by it I see everything else."-CS Lewis

    • "Being a stay at home Mom is much like recovering from an addiction. An addiction to thinking it's all about me"-Abbey Bertolone

    • "It is better to be without bread in your houses than without Bibles, for the words of God's mouth are and should be to you more than your necessary food. But what will it avail you to have Bibles in your houses, if you do not use them? To have the great things of God's law and gospel written to you, if you count them as a strange thing? You look daily into your shop-books, and perhaps converse much with the news books, and shall your Bibles be thrown by as an almanac out of date?"
      -Matthew Henry

    • Biblical definition of marriage: "...two sinful people pledging to live together with all of their faults, for the rest of their lives"
      -Gary Thomas in Sacred Marriage

    • "The gospel teaches a "new way to be human," which, in reality, is nothing more than returning to the "old way to be human," the way that God had originally ordained before sin. " -Eric Rauch

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