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  • Heard in the Dare House

  • Anna"Daddy? Are you numbers eternity? I heard that they were..."
  • Anna"Huh? Craig has a list?"
  • Pete"Dad, did you know Lucille Ball was married to a famous singer and performer?"
    Dad"Yep, Ricky Ricardo"
    Pete"Yeah, but...Hmmm..I can't remember what she called him..."
    Josh"Rick?"

  • Anna"Naomi, can you look at your calendar with your eyes closed?"
    Naomi"No. No one can, silly."
    Anna"Chuck Norris can!!"

  • Anna [dragging her by the hand]"Naomi! Come here! I want to..experience something!!"
  • Mom"Thanks to Naomi, who passed her headache on to me."
    Naomi"Pastor Headache? Who's Pastor Headache?!"

  • Dad: “Guys?! I can play music from my phone through the van's sound system!!.”
    Kids: “No way! Play your ringtones!!”

  • Darefamily: “Night, Pete. Night, Naomi. Night, Mom. Night, Dad...”
    Anna: “Night, vision!”

  • Josh:"Pete! You're a brutal victim!!"
  • Anna: “Wow Mom, you look so fragile.......expealadocious!”
  • Anna: “Dad, do you believe in Santa?”
    Dad: “Sure, St. Nicholas was at the council of Nicea. He punched Arius in the mouth for his heresy…”
    Anna: “Hmmmm…I don’t remember seeing that in the video…”

  • Josh: (seeing an old faded Doritos delivery truck) "No cheese Doritos? Who would even want those??!"
  • Naomi: [Looking at a crafting book]"That looks like denim...is that denim?"
    Anna: "WHO's DENIM?!"

  • Dad: "OK. I'm going to read the passage that Pastor Rick is going to preach from tomorrow..."
    Anna: "Ooh. You'll just ruin it."

  • Pete: "Did you guys know that some people lose their adult teeth and grow a whole new third set?"
    Mom: "Yeah. They're called sharks."
    Josh: "No! They're called hockey players!"

  • Dad: "Josh, have you ever heard of Alexander the Great?"
    Josh:"Oh yeah. He did a bunch of crazy things. He jumped in a river with a bunch...
    Wait. That was Houdini."

  • Pete: "Josh, you know what the Pope is, right?"
    Josh: "Yeah. The stuff in the orange juice."

  • Pete: [after mowing the lawn and getting a glass of water from Josh]"Thanks for the water Josh..."
    Josh: "That's what brothers are for."

  • Anna: "Yeah! Let's get this starty parted!....Errrr...."
  • Paul: Why don't we ever eat at Long John Silvers, honey?
    Jen: Cuz' it's gross.
    Paul: Come on, I was expecting something better than that.
    Jen: OK, I don't want to die.
    Paul: Oh, is it in a bad part of town?
    Jen: Nope. Just a bad part of the food chain.
    (Paul: HAHAHAAHAHHAHHHAAAA)

  • Josh [While explaining an upcoming medical procedure to Josh]:"What?! You get to go find some radioactive and eat it?!"
  • Josh"Bummer Mom, you're not ticklish. But I can still hurt you, because your nervous system is working!"
  • Josh"Yeah, I want a massage. But I want a professional to do it!"
  • Josh"Hey Dad, do you need your cell phone charged?"
    Dad"Nope."
    Josh"OK. If you do, just call me."

  • Naomi"Mom, Dad's stomach may be empty but you're a feast for his eyes!"
  • Josh"Sorry Grandma, I don't really like antiques...unless they have up to date stuff."
  • Anna [After watching several rounds of chess]:"Chex Mix! I win!!"
  • Pete:"Can we watch old home videos?!"
    Anna:"Yeah! Can we watch homeless videos?!!!"

  • Naomi:"I'm not sure what I'm more afraid of, a whale or a shark, 'cuz I know how to fight a shark, 'cuz they're really weak in the eyes..."
  • Josh: "Mom, even if you were deformed, you'd still be beautiful"
  • Peter: "Hey, remember that time when Josh had...that.....thing called...pig...latin, or something?"
    Mom and Dad: "Swine Flu??!!!!"
    Peter: "Oh yeah....swine flu..."

  • Anna: "Naomi, when is Abraham Lincoln's birthday?"
    Naomi: [Showing her on the calendar]"Right...here. But, he's not alive anymore."
    Anna: "Awe, that's sad. Cuz he's gonna miss his birthday."

  • Anna: "Man, Mom. You're making Dad do everything!"
    Pete: Yeah, Anna. That's how a real marriage works. Haven't you ever read the comic 'The Lockhorns'?""

  • Wherever the Shepherd Leads

    This brief article was in our church bulletin on December 11.  I am always a few weeks behind on reading these, but I’m always encouraged and challenged when I do -

    Keith Swartley writes, “It is not our job to watch out for lions, the narrowness of the path or the depth of the ravine: we just follow the Shepherd.  And following the Shepherd is always better than we expect – even comforting, like a cool drink from a stream near a green pasture.”  Following Christ “takes boldness, not just in speech, but in attempting those efforts others are not willing to undertake.”

    The Shepherd may choose a path for us to travel that seems uncomfortable, frightening, even dangerous when our eyes move from Him to the surrounding terrain.  Yet onward He leads, expecting us to keep our eyes on Him, trusting Him all the way.  And what if that treacherous way should bring pain, suffering, injustice or even death?  The Shepherd still leads, strengthening and protecting from ultimate harm, and accomplishing His Kingdom purposes in and through us for His glory.  And one day as we follow, we find He leads us into an extraordinarily glorious City where we find we are finally home!

    So, let our Good Shepherd lead you.  Fear not as He leads the way.  He’ll carry you when you cannot take another step and guard you with his sovereign, almighty hand.  Don’t hesitate at the edge of deep crevasses or turn to stone at sudden movements in lion-infested jungles.  Watch the Shepherd.  The key to finding comfort and joyful purpose in all of life is fixing our eyes on Him.  That’s our job, our privilege, our joy!

    With you in following and loving our Great Shepherd,

    Pastor Rick

     

     

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