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  • Heard in the Dare House

  • Anna"Daddy? Are you numbers eternity? I heard that they were..."
  • Anna"Huh? Craig has a list?"
  • Pete"Dad, did you know Lucille Ball was married to a famous singer and performer?"
    Dad"Yep, Ricky Ricardo"
    Pete"Yeah, but...Hmmm..I can't remember what she called him..."
    Josh"Rick?"

  • Anna"Naomi, can you look at your calendar with your eyes closed?"
    Naomi"No. No one can, silly."
    Anna"Chuck Norris can!!"

  • Anna [dragging her by the hand]"Naomi! Come here! I want to..experience something!!"
  • Mom"Thanks to Naomi, who passed her headache on to me."
    Naomi"Pastor Headache? Who's Pastor Headache?!"

  • Dad: “Guys?! I can play music from my phone through the van's sound system!!.”
    Kids: “No way! Play your ringtones!!”

  • Darefamily: “Night, Pete. Night, Naomi. Night, Mom. Night, Dad...”
    Anna: “Night, vision!”

  • Josh:"Pete! You're a brutal victim!!"
  • Anna: “Wow Mom, you look so fragile.......expealadocious!”
  • Anna: “Dad, do you believe in Santa?”
    Dad: “Sure, St. Nicholas was at the council of Nicea. He punched Arius in the mouth for his heresy…”
    Anna: “Hmmmm…I don’t remember seeing that in the video…”

  • Josh: (seeing an old faded Doritos delivery truck) "No cheese Doritos? Who would even want those??!"
  • Naomi: [Looking at a crafting book]"That looks like denim...is that denim?"
    Anna: "WHO's DENIM?!"

  • Dad: "OK. I'm going to read the passage that Pastor Rick is going to preach from tomorrow..."
    Anna: "Ooh. You'll just ruin it."

  • Pete: "Did you guys know that some people lose their adult teeth and grow a whole new third set?"
    Mom: "Yeah. They're called sharks."
    Josh: "No! They're called hockey players!"

  • Dad: "Josh, have you ever heard of Alexander the Great?"
    Josh:"Oh yeah. He did a bunch of crazy things. He jumped in a river with a bunch...
    Wait. That was Houdini."

  • Pete: "Josh, you know what the Pope is, right?"
    Josh: "Yeah. The stuff in the orange juice."

  • Pete: [after mowing the lawn and getting a glass of water from Josh]"Thanks for the water Josh..."
    Josh: "That's what brothers are for."

  • Anna: "Yeah! Let's get this starty parted!....Errrr...."
  • Paul: Why don't we ever eat at Long John Silvers, honey?
    Jen: Cuz' it's gross.
    Paul: Come on, I was expecting something better than that.
    Jen: OK, I don't want to die.
    Paul: Oh, is it in a bad part of town?
    Jen: Nope. Just a bad part of the food chain.
    (Paul: HAHAHAAHAHHAHHHAAAA)

  • Josh [While explaining an upcoming medical procedure to Josh]:"What?! You get to go find some radioactive and eat it?!"
  • Josh"Bummer Mom, you're not ticklish. But I can still hurt you, because your nervous system is working!"
  • Josh"Yeah, I want a massage. But I want a professional to do it!"
  • Josh"Hey Dad, do you need your cell phone charged?"
    Dad"Nope."
    Josh"OK. If you do, just call me."

  • Naomi"Mom, Dad's stomach may be empty but you're a feast for his eyes!"
  • Josh"Sorry Grandma, I don't really like antiques...unless they have up to date stuff."
  • Anna [After watching several rounds of chess]:"Chex Mix! I win!!"
  • Pete:"Can we watch old home videos?!"
    Anna:"Yeah! Can we watch homeless videos?!!!"

  • Naomi:"I'm not sure what I'm more afraid of, a whale or a shark, 'cuz I know how to fight a shark, 'cuz they're really weak in the eyes..."
  • Josh: "Mom, even if you were deformed, you'd still be beautiful"
  • Peter: "Hey, remember that time when Josh had...that.....thing called...pig...latin, or something?"
    Mom and Dad: "Swine Flu??!!!!"
    Peter: "Oh yeah....swine flu..."

  • Anna: "Naomi, when is Abraham Lincoln's birthday?"
    Naomi: [Showing her on the calendar]"Right...here. But, he's not alive anymore."
    Anna: "Awe, that's sad. Cuz he's gonna miss his birthday."

  • Anna: "Man, Mom. You're making Dad do everything!"
    Pete: Yeah, Anna. That's how a real marriage works. Haven't you ever read the comic 'The Lockhorns'?""

  • Give Blood – Give “Double Reds” if you can

    So yesterday I went in to give blood at my scheduled appoint time of 11:15.  When they realized that I was type O-, healthy as a horse and they had some open slots, they asked me if I would be interested in donating two units of blood and having my plasma and platelets returned to me around 1pm.  After some price negotiating, return policy discussions and signed contracts in triplicate, I agreed.  :)

    I used to donate plasma when I was in the military and would actually get paid for each donation.  After feeling dirty after my third or fourth time (given the other people that were donating and the area of town the donation center was located) I quit doing that.  I guess ‘double reds‘ is different.  They take two units of blood and then return the plasma and platelets as opposed to taking plasma and returning the rest.  I would highly recommend doing this, if you are eligible and haven’t tried it before.  It takes a bit longer (about 45minutes) but here are the things I learned from talking to the nurse who stuck me yesterday -

    1.  Giving blood is extremely healthy for men to do!  Men have high iron in their blood (depending on what we’re eating, of course) and bleeding is a great way to get rid of excess iron and it actually lower your risk of heart attack as too much iron is bad for your most important muscle – your heart!

    2.  Double-Reds gets rid of more blood as you are giving two units instead of just one – so you are really purging that extra iron, men!

    3.  Giving two units actually helps the future receiving patient you are helping (or saving!) when they receive your blood.  The nurse told me that when a patient is given someone’s blood, there is always a risk of their body reacting negatively.  Some recipients can start to react but not quite reject the first unit of blood so having a second unit from the same donor can help stabilize the patient as their body ‘recognizes’ the blood as familiar.

    4.  You can’t donate as frequently as your eligibility time doubles when you give double-reds.  With a normal blood donation, you can give every 8 weeks.  When you give a double unit, you can’t give again until 16 weeks.  This (if you lead a busy life like most of us) is pretty convenient.  The mobile donation team comes to my office here at work, so it’s uber convenient, but even then I sometimes can’t make it downstairs to donate so spreading out my donations makes it easier to plan around my appointments if there are less in the year.  I know I sound like a selfish American here.  Sorry.

    5.  You aren’t as dehydrated after your donation.  Because they return your platelets, plasma and saline, you walk away sometimes more hydrated than when you came in!  I was running to the restroom all day yesterday.  I was still pretty tired for the rest of the day and even dozed off watching The West Wing with my wonderful wife last night.  But I wasn’t depleted of fluids like I usually am with a normal donation.

    6. It’s a great, simple, relatively painless way to love your neighbor.  As a Christian I’m commanded, called and empowered to make my love for my neighbor grow more and more.  Donating blood, single or double units, is very simple way to do just that.  I was laying there yesterday, reading Benjamin Franklin’s autobiography on my new Kindle Touch, thinking, “How great is this?!  How easy!  We have it so good in this country!  So many of us are healthy enough donate and help our fellow human beings!  I get to lay here and with virtually no effort, actually do something helpful!”

    7.  It’s just way cool.  OK, this reason is more for the geeky (like me) friends who are reading this.  Think of the technology!  A powered machine about the size of a microwave oven, with pumps, circuits, tubes, motors designed to take blood from a human, spin it just right so that the blood separates, filter out what it needs and then returns the other elements back to the same human!  It’s overwhelming to consider how many people perished because of blood loss before we had these machines. I know technology is not a savior and we will never be able to completely eradicate the loss of human life, but this technology is just fascinating to me!

    There is a risk.  Once they take the first pint, the machine then starts to return the unneeded items and if the needle is not in your vain good, it could pop out and will sting a bit.  Your arm is not going to fall off.  You just notify the nurse, she comes over and fixes it.  So a bit of pain (potentially) for a huge gain.  Don’t let it scare you.

    If you’ve given double-reds, I would love to hear your story or the thoughts you have on the process or the experience.  Good or bad.

    -paul

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