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  • Heard in the Dare House

  • Anna"Daddy? Are you numbers eternity? I heard that they were..."
  • Anna"Huh? Craig has a list?"
  • Pete"Dad, did you know Lucille Ball was married to a famous singer and performer?"
    Dad"Yep, Ricky Ricardo"
    Pete"Yeah, but...Hmmm..I can't remember what she called him..."
    Josh"Rick?"

  • Anna"Naomi, can you look at your calendar with your eyes closed?"
    Naomi"No. No one can, silly."
    Anna"Chuck Norris can!!"

  • Anna [dragging her by the hand]"Naomi! Come here! I want to..experience something!!"
  • Mom"Thanks to Naomi, who passed her headache on to me."
    Naomi"Pastor Headache? Who's Pastor Headache?!"

  • Dad: “Guys?! I can play music from my phone through the van's sound system!!.”
    Kids: “No way! Play your ringtones!!”

  • Darefamily: “Night, Pete. Night, Naomi. Night, Mom. Night, Dad...”
    Anna: “Night, vision!”

  • Josh:"Pete! You're a brutal victim!!"
  • Anna: “Wow Mom, you look so fragile.......expealadocious!”
  • Anna: “Dad, do you believe in Santa?”
    Dad: “Sure, St. Nicholas was at the council of Nicea. He punched Arius in the mouth for his heresy…”
    Anna: “Hmmmm…I don’t remember seeing that in the video…”

  • Josh: (seeing an old faded Doritos delivery truck) "No cheese Doritos? Who would even want those??!"
  • Naomi: [Looking at a crafting book]"That looks like denim...is that denim?"
    Anna: "WHO's DENIM?!"

  • Dad: "OK. I'm going to read the passage that Pastor Rick is going to preach from tomorrow..."
    Anna: "Ooh. You'll just ruin it."

  • Pete: "Did you guys know that some people lose their adult teeth and grow a whole new third set?"
    Mom: "Yeah. They're called sharks."
    Josh: "No! They're called hockey players!"

  • Dad: "Josh, have you ever heard of Alexander the Great?"
    Josh:"Oh yeah. He did a bunch of crazy things. He jumped in a river with a bunch...
    Wait. That was Houdini."

  • Pete: "Josh, you know what the Pope is, right?"
    Josh: "Yeah. The stuff in the orange juice."

  • Pete: [after mowing the lawn and getting a glass of water from Josh]"Thanks for the water Josh..."
    Josh: "That's what brothers are for."

  • Anna: "Yeah! Let's get this starty parted!....Errrr...."
  • Paul: Why don't we ever eat at Long John Silvers, honey?
    Jen: Cuz' it's gross.
    Paul: Come on, I was expecting something better than that.
    Jen: OK, I don't want to die.
    Paul: Oh, is it in a bad part of town?
    Jen: Nope. Just a bad part of the food chain.
    (Paul: HAHAHAAHAHHAHHHAAAA)

  • Josh [While explaining an upcoming medical procedure to Josh]:"What?! You get to go find some radioactive and eat it?!"
  • Josh"Bummer Mom, you're not ticklish. But I can still hurt you, because your nervous system is working!"
  • Josh"Yeah, I want a massage. But I want a professional to do it!"
  • Josh"Hey Dad, do you need your cell phone charged?"
    Dad"Nope."
    Josh"OK. If you do, just call me."

  • Naomi"Mom, Dad's stomach may be empty but you're a feast for his eyes!"
  • Josh"Sorry Grandma, I don't really like antiques...unless they have up to date stuff."
  • Anna [After watching several rounds of chess]:"Chex Mix! I win!!"
  • Pete:"Can we watch old home videos?!"
    Anna:"Yeah! Can we watch homeless videos?!!!"

  • Naomi:"I'm not sure what I'm more afraid of, a whale or a shark, 'cuz I know how to fight a shark, 'cuz they're really weak in the eyes..."
  • Josh: "Mom, even if you were deformed, you'd still be beautiful"
  • Peter: "Hey, remember that time when Josh had...that.....thing called...pig...latin, or something?"
    Mom and Dad: "Swine Flu??!!!!"
    Peter: "Oh yeah....swine flu..."

  • Anna: "Naomi, when is Abraham Lincoln's birthday?"
    Naomi: [Showing her on the calendar]"Right...here. But, he's not alive anymore."
    Anna: "Awe, that's sad. Cuz he's gonna miss his birthday."

  • Anna: "Man, Mom. You're making Dad do everything!"
    Pete: Yeah, Anna. That's how a real marriage works. Haven't you ever read the comic 'The Lockhorns'?""

  • Online “handwritten” letter writing tool

    Pretty neat.  I used this tool this year to write Naomi her birthday letter.  That way she got an email copy plus a printed hard copy one.

    You can make your own here: Create Handwritten Letters

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