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  • Heard in the Dare House

  • Anna"Daddy? Are you numbers eternity? I heard that they were..."
  • Anna"Huh? Craig has a list?"
  • Pete"Dad, did you know Lucille Ball was married to a famous singer and performer?"
    Dad"Yep, Ricky Ricardo"
    Pete"Yeah, but...Hmmm..I can't remember what she called him..."
    Josh"Rick?"

  • Anna"Naomi, can you look at your calendar with your eyes closed?"
    Naomi"No. No one can, silly."
    Anna"Chuck Norris can!!"

  • Anna [dragging her by the hand]"Naomi! Come here! I want to..experience something!!"
  • Mom"Thanks to Naomi, who passed her headache on to me."
    Naomi"Pastor Headache? Who's Pastor Headache?!"

  • Dad: “Guys?! I can play music from my phone through the van's sound system!!.”
    Kids: “No way! Play your ringtones!!”

  • Darefamily: “Night, Pete. Night, Naomi. Night, Mom. Night, Dad...”
    Anna: “Night, vision!”

  • Josh:"Pete! You're a brutal victim!!"
  • Anna: “Wow Mom, you look so fragile.......expealadocious!”
  • Anna: “Dad, do you believe in Santa?”
    Dad: “Sure, St. Nicholas was at the council of Nicea. He punched Arius in the mouth for his heresy…”
    Anna: “Hmmmm…I don’t remember seeing that in the video…”

  • Josh: (seeing an old faded Doritos delivery truck) "No cheese Doritos? Who would even want those??!"
  • Naomi: [Looking at a crafting book]"That looks like denim...is that denim?"
    Anna: "WHO's DENIM?!"

  • Dad: "OK. I'm going to read the passage that Pastor Rick is going to preach from tomorrow..."
    Anna: "Ooh. You'll just ruin it."

  • Pete: "Did you guys know that some people lose their adult teeth and grow a whole new third set?"
    Mom: "Yeah. They're called sharks."
    Josh: "No! They're called hockey players!"

  • Dad: "Josh, have you ever heard of Alexander the Great?"
    Josh:"Oh yeah. He did a bunch of crazy things. He jumped in a river with a bunch...
    Wait. That was Houdini."

  • Pete: "Josh, you know what the Pope is, right?"
    Josh: "Yeah. The stuff in the orange juice."

  • Pete: [after mowing the lawn and getting a glass of water from Josh]"Thanks for the water Josh..."
    Josh: "That's what brothers are for."

  • Anna: "Yeah! Let's get this starty parted!....Errrr...."
  • Paul: Why don't we ever eat at Long John Silvers, honey?
    Jen: Cuz' it's gross.
    Paul: Come on, I was expecting something better than that.
    Jen: OK, I don't want to die.
    Paul: Oh, is it in a bad part of town?
    Jen: Nope. Just a bad part of the food chain.
    (Paul: HAHAHAAHAHHAHHHAAAA)

  • Josh [While explaining an upcoming medical procedure to Josh]:"What?! You get to go find some radioactive and eat it?!"
  • Josh"Bummer Mom, you're not ticklish. But I can still hurt you, because your nervous system is working!"
  • Josh"Yeah, I want a massage. But I want a professional to do it!"
  • Josh"Hey Dad, do you need your cell phone charged?"
    Dad"Nope."
    Josh"OK. If you do, just call me."

  • Naomi"Mom, Dad's stomach may be empty but you're a feast for his eyes!"
  • Josh"Sorry Grandma, I don't really like antiques...unless they have up to date stuff."
  • Anna [After watching several rounds of chess]:"Chex Mix! I win!!"
  • Pete:"Can we watch old home videos?!"
    Anna:"Yeah! Can we watch homeless videos?!!!"

  • Naomi:"I'm not sure what I'm more afraid of, a whale or a shark, 'cuz I know how to fight a shark, 'cuz they're really weak in the eyes..."
  • Josh: "Mom, even if you were deformed, you'd still be beautiful"
  • Peter: "Hey, remember that time when Josh had...that.....thing called...pig...latin, or something?"
    Mom and Dad: "Swine Flu??!!!!"
    Peter: "Oh yeah....swine flu..."

  • Anna: "Naomi, when is Abraham Lincoln's birthday?"
    Naomi: [Showing her on the calendar]"Right...here. But, he's not alive anymore."
    Anna: "Awe, that's sad. Cuz he's gonna miss his birthday."

  • Anna: "Man, Mom. You're making Dad do everything!"
    Pete: Yeah, Anna. That's how a real marriage works. Haven't you ever read the comic 'The Lockhorns'?""


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    Jennifer Paul Dare

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    • My New Favorite Song

    Posted on January 24, 2012 by Paul and/or Jennifer Dare

    This song combines two of my favorite things – The best name in the world and my horrible memory. :)

    -paul

    Filed under: Appreciation, Fun, Funny Tagged: | , , ,

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    • Come Visit Us!

      Jennifer Paul Dare

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      17 minutes from Comerica Park, 15 minutes from Metro Airport, and 14 from Henry Ford museum. You don't even have to call first! (Oh wait, Jen said, "yes you do.")

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    • Notable quotable

    • "Being different is not legalism - legalism is when you try to earn your way to God through your good works - it's just holy living." -Laura Mouro
    • "I think the devil has made it his business to monopolize on three elements:
      noise, hurry and crowds . Satan is quite aware of the power of silence."-Jim Elliot

    • "I have learned that God’s silence to my questions is not a door slammed in my face. I may not have the answers—but I do have him."-Dave Dravecky
    • "Sin makes government necessary; sin also makes it necessary that government be limited."-Paul Edwards

    • "I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen not only because I see it but because by it I see everything else."-CS Lewis

    • "Being a stay at home Mom is much like recovering from an addiction. An addiction to thinking it's all about me"-Abbey Bertolone

    • "It is better to be without bread in your houses than without Bibles, for the words of God's mouth are and should be to you more than your necessary food. But what will it avail you to have Bibles in your houses, if you do not use them? To have the great things of God's law and gospel written to you, if you count them as a strange thing? You look daily into your shop-books, and perhaps converse much with the news books, and shall your Bibles be thrown by as an almanac out of date?"
      -Matthew Henry

    • Biblical definition of marriage: "...two sinful people pledging to live together with all of their faults, for the rest of their lives"
      -Gary Thomas in Sacred Marriage

    • "The gospel teaches a "new way to be human," which, in reality, is nothing more than returning to the "old way to be human," the way that God had originally ordained before sin. " -Eric Rauch

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