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  • Heard in the Dare House

  • Josh "You smell like an air freshener, Mom."
    Dad "oh Josh those are kind of cheap so that sounds like you’re kind of insulting Mom when you say that."
    Josh "MMMMmmmm…you smell like a $100 air freshener."

  • Anna "Mom. Where’s the first Bible ever. Like ever."
    Mom "Ummm, I’m not sure. But maybe you could ask Dad about that"
    Anna "Well. I was gonna, but I didn’t want to get a whole sermon…so I asked you"

  • Dad "Hmm. These chips taste stale."
    Mom "They're not stale. They're just from Aldi."

  • Naomi "Look Mom! My foot is bigger than Anna's whole face!"
  • Peter [Interrupting Mom quizzing Naomi on Science by asking, "What's inside the membrane of a cell?"] "...Insane?"
  • Anna [Seeing Almonso Wilder grab Laura Ingles' engagement ring from the kitchen on Little House] "Hmph. He just grabbed a chill pill."
  • Josh "Dad, my grammar book must be in labor. It keeps talking about contractions"
  • Josh [After Dad picked a crumb off Josh's shirt]"Dad, you're like a parasite, cleaning me."
  • Anna[Watching Dorothy's friends break her out of the wicked witch's castle]: "Well. That's why you always keep your axe with ya."
  • Josh: "I wonder if there are any tornadoes at the campground we're going to."
    Anna: "Yes. There are. I know. I checked on E-Bay."

  • Mom: "Mmmm, Josh. You smell really good. Are you wearing cologne?"
    Josh: "Wait. My.....Clone Trooper, you mean?"

  • Mom: "I delivered all four of these kids. The least they can do is let me have the rest of the dill pickle potato chips!"
  • Josh: "You're a weak-aholic!"
    Dad: "A weakaholic?!"
    Josh: "Yeah. You're addicted to being weak!"

  • Dad: [After listening to the long piano intro to Chicago's Does anybody really know what time it is?] "I don't like that dissident music. It's all crazy and off time."
    Anna: "I like it! 'Cuz that's how I play!"

  • Paul: "So according to this book kids, who shot JFK?"
    Josh: "Lee Elvis Hardwell?"

  • Paul: "How Many Kings by Downhere is a perfect running song. The beat is just my pace."
    Jen: "Oh yeah? My song is Canon in D."

  • Anna[while washing herself in the shower]: "Hmmmmm. Arms are helpful."
  • Anna [Seeing Mom running water in the kitchen sink]: "Hey! You want to pay bills?!"
    Mom: "Huh?"
    Anna: "You're wasting!"

  • Josh: "Mom, can I play Mario?"
    Mom: "No Josh. Today is craft day. We're doing stuff for someone."
    Josh: "Yeah. I was gonna beat the game for Dad."

  • Anna: [Laying in bed, in a depressed voice]"Naomi, what do I do with life?"
    Naomi: "Uhh...how about you go to sleep?"

  • Mom: "Weird, I've always heard that song differently. But hey, what am I?"
    Anna: "A human being!"

  • Anna: [After being told to eat her dinner]"Mom, I took two bites! You can see the ground!"
  • Josh: "Man, I want to go to a casino."
    Mom: "What?!"
    Josh: "Wait. Is casino the same as gazebo?"

  • Jen to the kids: "Guys, don't forget toppings for your salad. The more colors on your salad, the better it is for you."
    Josh: "Even if it has Superman ice cream on it?!"

  • Anna"Huh? Craig has a list?"
  • Anna"Naomi, can you look at your calendar with your eyes closed?"
    Naomi"No. No one can, silly."
    Anna"Chuck Norris can!!"

  • Mom"Thanks to Naomi, who passed her headache on to me."
    Naomi"Pastor Headache? Who's Pastor Headache?!"

  • Darefamily: “Night, Pete. Night, Naomi. Night, Mom. Night, Dad...”
    Anna: “Night, vision!”

  • Anna: “Dad, do you believe in Santa?”
    Dad: “Sure, St. Nicholas was at the council of Nicea. He punched Arius in the mouth for his heresy…”
    Anna: “Hmmmm…I don’t remember seeing that in the video…”

  • Pete: "Josh, you know what the Pope is, right?"
    Josh: "Yeah. The stuff in the orange juice."

  • Anna: "Yeah! Let's get this starty parted!"
  • Josh"Bummer Mom, you're not ticklish. But I can still hurt you, because your nervous system is working!"
  • Josh"Sorry Grandma, I don't really like antiques...unless they have up to date stuff."
  • Naomi:"I'm not sure what I'm more afraid of, a whale or a shark, 'cuz I know how to fight a shark, 'cuz they're really weak in the eyes..."


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    Jennifer Paul Dare

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    • Looking back over 2012

    Posted on January 1, 2013 by Paul and/or Jennifer Dare

    “I will recount the gracious deeds of the Lord, the praiseworthy acts of the Lord, because of all that the Lord has done for us”  Isaiah 63:7 (RSV)

    end_of_year_recap_2The Lord was good to us in 2012.  We were all healthy, I stayed employed,   our kids kept up with their studies, one of them jumped into the public school system for the first time.  We camped as a family for the first time in the summer.  Our oldest daughter let some girl at the mall poke holes in her ears.  We welcomed a teenager into our family.  We donated our first car and the Lord provided a new one from some missionaries who needed to get rid of theirs so they could get back to the field.  We saw some amazing things happen in the lives of friends and families.  We watched God “raise” a one year old named Truman, from the dead.  Naomi exploded in her piano playing and Anna joined her in taking lessons.  I took a trip to Rochester, NY and Atlanta, GA for work and was protected the entire way.  My sister’s husband returned safely from Afghanistan.  Our Pastor finished an outstanding preaching series on the book of Acts.  The company I worked for (Global Crossing) was purchased by a similar company named Level 3 Communications.  We started geocaching.  Paul got a raging case of poison ivy and had my first experience with oral steroids ( :( ).  The Pretty Painter launched her online gallery and sold her first painting.    Our dryer broke twice and we were able to fix it instead of having to replace it twice!  I was able to preach a few times at our church.  I also was able to help with “Take your Kids to Work Day” for the first time.  We got to see Jen’s extended family at the Shepherd family reunion.  Jen got a grain mill and starting making the best food in the world with freshly, home-ground wheat and flour.  Jen did a ton of work on our budget and was the most incredibly supportive wife and mother a husband could ever ask for.

    I greatly look forward to what God will start, continue and finish in 2013.

    “The Lord has done this and it is marvelous in our eyes.”  – Psalm 118:23

     

    Paul

    Filed under: Appreciation, Fun, Funny, Helpful, History, Kiddies, Money Tagged: | , , ,

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    One Response

    1. Poet Kaylynté, on January 1, 2013 at 8:39 pm said:

      Happy New Year! :)

      Reply

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    • Notable quotable

    • "Better a mom’s bleeding tongue than a son’s badgered heart." -Karen Ehman
    • "Being different is not legalism - legalism is when you try to earn your way to God through your good works - it's just holy living." -Laura Mouro
    • "I think the devil has made it his business to monopolize on three elements:
      noise, hurry and crowds . Satan is quite aware of the power of silence."-Jim Elliot

    • "I have learned that God’s silence to my questions is not a door slammed in my face. I may not have the answers—but I do have him."-Dave Dravecky
    • "Sin makes government necessary; sin also makes it necessary that government be limited."-Paul Edwards

    • "I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen not only because I see it but because by it I see everything else."-CS Lewis

    • "Being a stay at home Mom is much like recovering from an addiction. An addiction to thinking it's all about me"-Abbey Bertolone

    • "It is better to be without bread in your houses than without Bibles, for the words of God's mouth are and should be to you more than your necessary food. But what will it avail you to have Bibles in your houses, if you do not use them? To have the great things of God's law and gospel written to you, if you count them as a strange thing? You look daily into your shop-books, and perhaps converse much with the news books, and shall your Bibles be thrown by as an almanac out of date?"
      -Matthew Henry

    • Biblical definition of marriage: "...two sinful people pledging to live together with all of their faults, for the rest of their lives"
      -Gary Thomas in Sacred Marriage

    • "The gospel teaches a "new way to be human," which, in reality, is nothing more than returning to the "old way to be human," the way that God had originally ordained before sin. " -Eric Rauch

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