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  • Heard in the Dare House

  • Pete"We should all act out a Shakespeare play. Maybe Macbeth?"
    Anna "Oh! I want to play MacMeth!"

  • Josh"Owe! I bit my tongue!"
    Mom "That's not part of dinner, dude."
    Josh"I know. That's why I didn't bite it off, Michael Tyson"

  • Dad "Josh, do you know who Mike Tyson bit?"
    Josh"Uuuhh...yeah...like... Leonard Skimmer?"

  • Anna [When we were all talking about love languages, Dad explains how you can change over your life]"Oh yeah, totally. 'Cause I used to be into drawing."
  • Anna [after falling off her bike]"I'm OK! I don't need the arcade kit!"
  • Dad [Getting ready to give a gift to the girls for their piano recital]"Alright girls, we're going to do something that's long overdue."
    Anna "Ha. Probably taxes..."

  • Josh [After reading Peter's sign that said, "DJ takes requests, and tips] "Hey. I have a tip for you. If people don't like the song you're playing, you should change it."
  • Anna "Sometimes I look around and think, I am Anna...and these are other people..."
  • Josh "Listen. You give me the Simon's Quest code and I'll shop in the women's section!"
  • Josh "You smell like an air freshener, Mom."
    Dad "oh Josh those are kind of cheap so that sounds like you’re kind of insulting Mom when you say that."
    Josh "MMMMmmmm…you smell like a $100 air freshener."

  • Anna "Mom. Where’s the first Bible ever. Like ever."
    Mom "Ummm, I’m not sure. But maybe you could ask Dad about that"
    Anna "Well. I was gonna, but I didn’t want to get a whole sermon…so I asked you"

  • Dad "Hmm. These chips taste stale."
    Mom "They're not stale. They're just from Aldi."

  • Naomi "Look Mom! My foot is bigger than Anna's whole face!"
  • Peter [Interrupting Mom quizzing Naomi on Science by asking, "What's inside the membrane of a cell?"] "...Insane?"
  • Anna [Seeing Almonso Wilder grab Laura Ingles' engagement ring from the kitchen on Little House] "Hmph. He just grabbed a chill pill."
  • Josh "Dad, my grammar book must be in labor. It keeps talking about contractions"
  • Josh [After Dad picked a crumb off Josh's shirt]"Dad, you're like a parasite, cleaning me."
  • Anna[Watching Dorothy's friends break her out of the wicked witch's castle]: "Well. That's why you always keep your axe with ya."
  • Josh: "I wonder if there are any tornadoes at the campground we're going to."
    Anna: "Yes. There are. I know. I checked on E-Bay."

  • Mom: "Mmmm, Josh. You smell really good. Are you wearing cologne?"
    Josh: "Wait. My.....Clone Trooper, you mean?"

  • Mom: "I delivered all four of these kids. The least they can do is let me have the rest of the dill pickle potato chips!"
  • Josh: "You're a weak-aholic!"
    Dad: "A weakaholic?!"
    Josh: "Yeah. You're addicted to being weak!"

  • Dad: [After listening to the long piano intro to Chicago's Does anybody really know what time it is?] "I don't like that dissident music. It's all crazy and off time."
    Anna: "I like it! 'Cuz that's how I play!"

  • Paul: "So according to this book kids, who shot JFK?"
    Josh: "Lee Elvis Hardwell?"

  • Paul: "How Many Kings by Downhere is a perfect running song. The beat is just my pace."
    Jen: "Oh yeah? My song is Canon in D."

  • Anna[while washing herself in the shower]: "Hmmmmm. Arms are helpful."
  • Anna [Seeing Mom running water in the kitchen sink]: "Hey! You want to pay bills?!"
    Mom: "Huh?"
    Anna: "You're wasting!"

  • Josh: "Mom, can I play Mario?"
    Mom: "No Josh. Today is craft day. We're doing stuff for someone."
    Josh: "Yeah. I was gonna beat the game for Dad."

  • Anna: [Laying in bed, in a depressed voice]"Naomi, what do I do with life?"
    Naomi: "Uhh...how about you go to sleep?"

  • Mom: "Weird, I've always heard that song differently. But hey, what am I?"
    Anna: "A human being!"

  • Anna: [After being told to eat her dinner]"Mom, I took two bites! You can see the ground!"
  • Josh: "Man, I want to go to a casino."
    Mom: "What?!"
    Josh: "Wait. Is casino the same as gazebo?"

  • Jen to the kids: "Guys, don't forget toppings for your salad. The more colors on your salad, the better it is for you."
    Josh: "Even if it has Superman ice cream on it?!"

  • Anna"Huh? Craig has a list?"
  • Anna"Naomi, can you look at your calendar with your eyes closed?"
    Naomi"No. No one can, silly."
    Anna"Chuck Norris can!!"

  • Mom"Thanks to Naomi, who passed her headache on to me."
    Naomi"Pastor Headache? Who's Pastor Headache?!"

  • Darefamily: “Night, Pete. Night, Naomi. Night, Mom. Night, Dad...”
    Anna: “Night, vision!”

  • Anna: “Dad, do you believe in Santa?”
    Dad: “Sure, St. Nicholas was at the council of Nicea. He punched Arius in the mouth for his heresy…”
    Anna: “Hmmmm…I don’t remember seeing that in the video…”

  • Pete: "Josh, you know what the Pope is, right?"
    Josh: "Yeah. The stuff in the orange juice."

  • Anna: "Yeah! Let's get this starty parted!"
  • Josh"Bummer Mom, you're not ticklish. But I can still hurt you, because your nervous system is working!"
  • Josh"Sorry Grandma, I don't really like antiques...unless they have up to date stuff."
  • Naomi:"I'm not sure what I'm more afraid of, a whale or a shark, 'cuz I know how to fight a shark, 'cuz they're really weak in the eyes..."
  • Day at the park

    So our great friends, the Parks, invited us over for lunch today. Everything was going just fine until they told me that there was a park within walking distance with old school playground equipment! I should’ve nodded and smiled, but I couldn’t resist….OK, I could’ve. I didn’t. Before I knew it we were on our way.


    2015-10-25 15.07.37

    When I heard they had spring animals, it was all over. I loved these things at the Thompson and Maple street park in Howell, where I grew up.  They renovated that park a few years ago and took them all out. :(

    2015-10-25 15.12.51 2015-10-25 15.12.38 2015-10-25 15.09.57



    Things started out alright. In fact, I think we’d all agree that I conquered the first two animals with relative ease:

    Animal # 2 was a pretty simple win too

    #3?  Well, let’s just say… third time’s not always a charm…

    Though my thighs are still burning, I have a few less cool points in my pocket and my pride is a tiny bit damaged, I would do it all again. Thanks to my oldest daughter who was my camera woman and made sure to get my best side in all my shots!

    It certainly didn’t end with the spring animals:

    Then I decided to take a spin.  Bad idea…

    2015-10-25 15.18.41

    2015-10-25 15.18.46

    2015-10-25 15.20.33 I can barely even look at these pictures without getting nauseous.

    Then, there was the old metal slide!  I swear they took this from my elementary school’s playground.

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    What?  Don’t judge me.

    2015-10-25 15.24.49 - Copy  2015-10-25 15.24.44 - Copy 2015-10-25 15.24.40 - Copy  2015-10-25 15.22.44 - Copy 2015-10-25 15.22.35 - Copy

    All in all, great time!  Thanks to Sara for being our tour guide to and from the park!



    What you do when you get two feet of snow…

    New Horizons Ahead!

    On January 4th, 2015, Plymouth Baptist Church voted to merge with Woodside Bible Church of Troy, MI. We are now Woodside Bible Church of Plymouth.

    WS News PBC merger

    New Dog?

    Anna: “I had a dream. We had a blonde curley haired Golden Retriever. His name was Alex Evantrioul…or something.”

    Thanks for sharing, Ann.

    Bronner’s Trip

    2014-09-05 15.38.08

    ” ‘Tis the season to go to Bronners!

    2014-09-05 14.47.17

    2014-09-05 13.42.04

    We’re sorry if that scarred you forever Josh.

    The Barn

    A few weeks ago the Dare family decided to…paint their garage red!! :-0


    To see more pictures, Naomi posted some on her blog:


    Is it bragging if it’s your kids?

    OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERASo we figured a special post was necessary for the goofy, funny and sometimes downright hilarious things that our little chitlins have uttered lately.  So, at the risk of sounding like we’re boasting, here goes nothing:

    Dad: “Does ALDI have a bathroom?”

    Kids: “Yes. Up by the register.”

    Dad: “But how is it, is it clean?”

    Naomi: “I don’t know, I’ve never gone in the guys.”


    Peter: “Have you guys heard about the oldest woman in America?  She was born in like 1892.”

    Mom/Dad: “Wait. She would be like 130 years old or something.”

    Josh: “That’s impossible, because the Bible says that ‘my spirit shall not dwell with man for more than 120 years.'”

    Anna: “Uh yeah. She isn’t a man.”


    Peter: “Man. I really want to fly somewhere.”

    Josh: “I just want to get on the moving sidewalk.”


    Josh: “Hey!  They should make microscopic pencils so that single-celled organisms can draw!”OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

    Anna [While wrestling with Dad] “Uhh, I think you’re going bald in the back.”

    Dad: “Hey!  You don’t say that to the guy playing with you!”

    Anna: “You should get some miracle grow.”

    Dad: “Excuse me?!”

    Anna: “It would be a miracle if it worked!”


    Misheard Lyrics, by Anna:

    Trading My Sorrows by Darrel Evans:

    “Though the sorrow may last for the night
    His joy comes with the morning”

    Anna’s version: “Our baby comes in the night…but yours comes in the morning.”

    There you have it. If you hadn’t noticed, we added a few new ones to the “Heard in the Dare House” sidebar too. 

    We love our kids. Even if they weren’t so funny, they’re keepers.

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