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  • Heard in the Dare House

  • Naomi"Mom, isn't the Charleston that dance on that show Fresh Prince...or....?"
  • Pete"We should all act out a Shakespeare play. Maybe Macbeth?"
    Anna "Oh! I want to play MacMeth!"

  • Josh"Owe! I bit my tongue!"
    Mom "That's not part of dinner, dude."
    Josh"I know. That's why I didn't bite it off, Michael Tyson"

  • Dad "Josh, do you know who Mike Tyson bit?"
    Josh"Uuuhh...yeah...like... Leonard Skimmer?"

  • Anna [When we were all talking about love languages, Dad explains how you can change over your life]"Oh yeah, totally. 'Cause I used to be into drawing."
  • Anna [after falling off her bike]"I'm OK! I don't need the arcade kit!"
  • Dad [Getting ready to give a gift to the girls for their piano recital]"Alright girls, we're going to do something that's long overdue."
    Anna "Ha. Probably taxes..."

  • Josh [After reading Peter's sign that said, "DJ takes requests, and tips] "Hey. I have a tip for you. If people don't like the song you're playing, you should change it."
  • Anna "Sometimes I look around and think, I am Anna...and these are other people..."
  • Josh "Listen. You give me the Simon's Quest code and I'll shop in the women's section!"
  • Josh "You smell like an air freshener, Mom."
    Dad "oh Josh those are kind of cheap so that sounds like you’re kind of insulting Mom when you say that."
    Josh "MMMMmmmm…you smell like a $100 air freshener."

  • Anna "Mom. Where’s the first Bible ever. Like ever."
    Mom "Ummm, I’m not sure. But maybe you could ask Dad about that"
    Anna "Well. I was gonna, but I didn’t want to get a whole sermon…so I asked you"

  • Dad "Hmm. These chips taste stale."
    Mom "They're not stale. They're just from Aldi."

  • Naomi "Look Mom! My foot is bigger than Anna's whole face!"
  • Peter [Interrupting Mom quizzing Naomi on Science by asking, "What's inside the membrane of a cell?"] "...Insane?"
  • Anna [Seeing Almonso Wilder grab Laura Ingles' engagement ring from the kitchen on Little House] "Hmph. He just grabbed a chill pill."
  • Josh "Dad, my grammar book must be in labor. It keeps talking about contractions"
  • Josh [After Dad picked a crumb off Josh's shirt]"Dad, you're like a parasite, cleaning me."
  • Anna[Watching Dorothy's friends break her out of the wicked witch's castle]: "Well. That's why you always keep your axe with ya."
  • Josh: "I wonder if there are any tornadoes at the campground we're going to."
    Anna: "Yes. There are. I know. I checked on E-Bay."

  • Mom: "Mmmm, Josh. You smell really good. Are you wearing cologne?"
    Josh: "Wait. My.....Clone Trooper, you mean?"

  • Mom: "I delivered all four of these kids. The least they can do is let me have the rest of the dill pickle potato chips!"
  • Josh: "You're a weak-aholic!"
    Dad: "A weakaholic?!"
    Josh: "Yeah. You're addicted to being weak!"

  • Dad: [After listening to the long piano intro to Chicago's Does anybody really know what time it is?] "I don't like that dissident music. It's all crazy and off time."
    Anna: "I like it! 'Cuz that's how I play!"

  • Paul: "So according to this book kids, who shot JFK?"
    Josh: "Lee Elvis Hardwell?"

  • Paul: "How Many Kings by Downhere is a perfect running song. The beat is just my pace."
    Jen: "Oh yeah? My song is Canon in D."

  • Anna[while washing herself in the shower]: "Hmmmmm. Arms are helpful."
  • Anna [Seeing Mom running water in the kitchen sink]: "Hey! You want to pay bills?!"
    Mom: "Huh?"
    Anna: "You're wasting!"

  • Josh: "Mom, can I play Mario?"
    Mom: "No Josh. Today is craft day. We're doing stuff for someone."
    Josh: "Yeah. I was gonna beat the game for Dad."

  • Anna: [Laying in bed, in a depressed voice]"Naomi, what do I do with life?"
    Naomi: "Uhh...how about you go to sleep?"

  • Mom: "Weird, I've always heard that song differently. But hey, what am I?"
    Anna: "A human being!"

  • Anna: [After being told to eat her dinner]"Mom, I took two bites! You can see the ground!"
  • Josh: "Man, I want to go to a casino."
    Mom: "What?!"
    Josh: "Wait. Is casino the same as gazebo?"

  • Jen to the kids: "Guys, don't forget toppings for your salad. The more colors on your salad, the better it is for you."
    Josh: "Even if it has Superman ice cream on it?!"

  • Anna"Huh? Craig has a list?"
  • Anna"Naomi, can you look at your calendar with your eyes closed?"
    Naomi"No. No one can, silly."
    Anna"Chuck Norris can!!"

  • Mom"Thanks to Naomi, who passed her headache on to me."
    Naomi"Pastor Headache? Who's Pastor Headache?!"

  • Darefamily: “Night, Pete. Night, Naomi. Night, Mom. Night, Dad...”
    Anna: “Night, vision!”

  • Anna: “Dad, do you believe in Santa?”
    Dad: “Sure, St. Nicholas was at the council of Nicea. He punched Arius in the mouth for his heresy…”
    Anna: “Hmmmm…I don’t remember seeing that in the video…”

  • Pete: "Josh, you know what the Pope is, right?"
    Josh: "Yeah. The stuff in the orange juice."

  • Anna: "Yeah! Let's get this starty parted!"
  • Josh"Bummer Mom, you're not ticklish. But I can still hurt you, because your nervous system is working!"
  • Josh"Sorry Grandma, I don't really like antiques...unless they have up to date stuff."
  • Naomi:"I'm not sure what I'm more afraid of, a whale or a shark, 'cuz I know how to fight a shark, 'cuz they're really weak in the eyes..."
  • I’m a horrible fisherman

    fishing_man† – I used to love to fish.  I think I once bordered on obsession with fishing.  I’m sure I’d still enjoy it, but I haven’t been in years.  I just don’t have the draw to it that I used to.  One thing got me thinking about fishing tonight.  We sang a song at church called the Cares chorus.  Some of you may be familiar with it.  It’s derived from 1 Peter 5:7 where Peter encourages his readers to cast all their cares upon God, because He cares for them.  The song goes like this:

    I will cast all my cares upon you

    I will lay all of my burdens, down at your feet

    And anytime that I don’t know what else to do

    I will cast all my cares upon you

    I started thinking about casting, how critical it is to fishing.  A good cast can change your whole day on the lake.  A bad cast can cost you countless catches.  Casting is pretty important in fishing.  Casting is critical in the Christian life.  I am not a very good caster – when I fish and when I walk with God.  I think there are two reasons for my casting complications:

    1. I don’t cast. Yes, I know.  Sounds ridiculous, right?  I completely agree!  How absurd any angler would look to plan a day of fishing, collect all his gear, drive for miles to the best spot only to sit there on the bank or in his boat and never once cast his line into the water!  Can I suggest that it’s equally or more absurd for me, a follower of  the one and only true and living God, creator and sustainer of heaven and earth to be a part of His glorious kingdom and hardly ever cast my cares upon Him.  I sat there tonight, keeping time on the drums to this song thinking how foolish it was for me to sing these words.  I can’t honestly say that this song is a description of an average day for me.  What an embarrassment.  This should not be so.  I just don’t cast my cares on God like I should.  I could start an entirely separate list of the countless things I do do when I am faced with cares (stress, anxiety, fear, etc).  Action always reflects belief.  Inaction reflects belief.  So what is it, fundamentally that I am believing that’s bearing fruit in my lack of action?  I must believe something erroneous about myself or God…or both.  I must have a misunderstanding about who He is, or who I truly am that would cause me to daily pass up the opportunity to cast my cares upon the one who holds the universe in His hands.
    2. I reel back in way too fast! I remember from my fishing frenzied days that one basic rule to good fishing, was learning how to correctly reel in your bait.  Some baits needed almost no reeling and they just sat there waiting to be hit.  Some needed a bit of movement to create the simulation that they were alive.  Some did require pretty active reeling to give them the action they were designed to create.  But, in all my years of fishing, I don’t ever remember any bait that upon it’s contact with the water, needed to be frantically and erratically reeled backed in as fast as humanly possible.  Again, think of how silly it would look for an average angler to be chaotically reeling in every cast, giving the fish he hopes to catch virtually no time to even see his enticing allurement before yanking it away from them.  What would his success rate look like?  Am I not just like this?  If I do claim, at times, to have cast my cares on Him, it is not uncommon for me to frantically “reel” them back in soon thereafter.  What a shame.  I throw my burden into the still waters of God’s unwavering promises only to panic upon the site of the first ripple and do all I can to bring them back to me so I can “hold on” to them once more.  I know there’s no success in clinging to my struggles, fears and worries, but I cling nonetheless.  When will I learn to let go and cast all I have upon the open waters of God’s kindness?  When will I rest, wait and smile in anticipation of what He will do to comfort, solve, teach and change me?

    So for now, I’ll just have to chalk up the Cares chorus as a “woulda-shoulda-coulda” song that perhaps, one day, will actually describe the true tune of my heart.  Maybe that day will never come, I don’t know.  Maybe that’s the whole point, to remind us of what we should be doing, not necessarily describing what we’re already doing.  Until I know for sure, I’ve re-worded the song to better fit my present condition.  Tell me what you think:

    I don’t cast all my cares upon you

    I try to hold all of my burdens, hope you won’t see

    And most’the time I sure don’t know what I’m to do

    I should cast all my cares upon you

    Paul

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    One Response

    1. Put it in Gods hands……..
      I’m always telling Jen that, so you should listen to your wife, if she repeats me! 🙂
      Mom

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