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  • Heard in the Dare House

  • Naomi"Mom, isn't the Charleston that dance on that show Fresh Prince...or....?"
  • Pete"We should all act out a Shakespeare play. Maybe Macbeth?"
    Anna "Oh! I want to play MacMeth!"

  • Josh"Owe! I bit my tongue!"
    Mom "That's not part of dinner, dude."
    Josh"I know. That's why I didn't bite it off, Michael Tyson"

  • Dad "Josh, do you know who Mike Tyson bit?"
    Josh"Uuuhh...yeah...like... Leonard Skimmer?"

  • Anna [When we were all talking about love languages, Dad explains how you can change over your life]"Oh yeah, totally. 'Cause I used to be into drawing."
  • Anna [after falling off her bike]"I'm OK! I don't need the arcade kit!"
  • Dad [Getting ready to give a gift to the girls for their piano recital]"Alright girls, we're going to do something that's long overdue."
    Anna "Ha. Probably taxes..."

  • Josh [After reading Peter's sign that said, "DJ takes requests, and tips] "Hey. I have a tip for you. If people don't like the song you're playing, you should change it."
  • Anna "Sometimes I look around and think, I am Anna...and these are other people..."
  • Josh "Listen. You give me the Simon's Quest code and I'll shop in the women's section!"
  • Josh "You smell like an air freshener, Mom."
    Dad "oh Josh those are kind of cheap so that sounds like you’re kind of insulting Mom when you say that."
    Josh "MMMMmmmm…you smell like a $100 air freshener."

  • Anna "Mom. Where’s the first Bible ever. Like ever."
    Mom "Ummm, I’m not sure. But maybe you could ask Dad about that"
    Anna "Well. I was gonna, but I didn’t want to get a whole sermon…so I asked you"

  • Dad "Hmm. These chips taste stale."
    Mom "They're not stale. They're just from Aldi."

  • Naomi "Look Mom! My foot is bigger than Anna's whole face!"
  • Peter [Interrupting Mom quizzing Naomi on Science by asking, "What's inside the membrane of a cell?"] "...Insane?"
  • Anna [Seeing Almonso Wilder grab Laura Ingles' engagement ring from the kitchen on Little House] "Hmph. He just grabbed a chill pill."
  • Josh "Dad, my grammar book must be in labor. It keeps talking about contractions"
  • Josh [After Dad picked a crumb off Josh's shirt]"Dad, you're like a parasite, cleaning me."
  • Anna[Watching Dorothy's friends break her out of the wicked witch's castle]: "Well. That's why you always keep your axe with ya."
  • Josh: "I wonder if there are any tornadoes at the campground we're going to."
    Anna: "Yes. There are. I know. I checked on E-Bay."

  • Mom: "Mmmm, Josh. You smell really good. Are you wearing cologne?"
    Josh: "Wait. My.....Clone Trooper, you mean?"

  • Mom: "I delivered all four of these kids. The least they can do is let me have the rest of the dill pickle potato chips!"
  • Josh: "You're a weak-aholic!"
    Dad: "A weakaholic?!"
    Josh: "Yeah. You're addicted to being weak!"

  • Dad: [After listening to the long piano intro to Chicago's Does anybody really know what time it is?] "I don't like that dissident music. It's all crazy and off time."
    Anna: "I like it! 'Cuz that's how I play!"

  • Paul: "So according to this book kids, who shot JFK?"
    Josh: "Lee Elvis Hardwell?"

  • Paul: "How Many Kings by Downhere is a perfect running song. The beat is just my pace."
    Jen: "Oh yeah? My song is Canon in D."

  • Anna[while washing herself in the shower]: "Hmmmmm. Arms are helpful."
  • Anna [Seeing Mom running water in the kitchen sink]: "Hey! You want to pay bills?!"
    Mom: "Huh?"
    Anna: "You're wasting!"

  • Josh: "Mom, can I play Mario?"
    Mom: "No Josh. Today is craft day. We're doing stuff for someone."
    Josh: "Yeah. I was gonna beat the game for Dad."

  • Anna: [Laying in bed, in a depressed voice]"Naomi, what do I do with life?"
    Naomi: "Uhh...how about you go to sleep?"

  • Mom: "Weird, I've always heard that song differently. But hey, what am I?"
    Anna: "A human being!"

  • Anna: [After being told to eat her dinner]"Mom, I took two bites! You can see the ground!"
  • Josh: "Man, I want to go to a casino."
    Mom: "What?!"
    Josh: "Wait. Is casino the same as gazebo?"

  • Jen to the kids: "Guys, don't forget toppings for your salad. The more colors on your salad, the better it is for you."
    Josh: "Even if it has Superman ice cream on it?!"

  • Anna"Huh? Craig has a list?"
  • Anna"Naomi, can you look at your calendar with your eyes closed?"
    Naomi"No. No one can, silly."
    Anna"Chuck Norris can!!"

  • Mom"Thanks to Naomi, who passed her headache on to me."
    Naomi"Pastor Headache? Who's Pastor Headache?!"

  • Darefamily: “Night, Pete. Night, Naomi. Night, Mom. Night, Dad...”
    Anna: “Night, vision!”

  • Anna: “Dad, do you believe in Santa?”
    Dad: “Sure, St. Nicholas was at the council of Nicea. He punched Arius in the mouth for his heresy…”
    Anna: “Hmmmm…I don’t remember seeing that in the video…”

  • Pete: "Josh, you know what the Pope is, right?"
    Josh: "Yeah. The stuff in the orange juice."

  • Anna: "Yeah! Let's get this starty parted!"
  • Josh"Bummer Mom, you're not ticklish. But I can still hurt you, because your nervous system is working!"
  • Josh"Sorry Grandma, I don't really like antiques...unless they have up to date stuff."
  • Naomi:"I'm not sure what I'm more afraid of, a whale or a shark, 'cuz I know how to fight a shark, 'cuz they're really weak in the eyes..."
  • Highly recommended

    “So many books…

    I’m a reader. I love books.  Didn’t always.  I do now.  I have to guard my heart against loving them too much.  That’s how much I love them.  However, no matter how much I love to read, I’ve had one problem for years.  Finishing ones I start.  I’m not proud of it.  I’m a self-admitted book adulterer.  I start a relationship with one tome and before I know it, another crazy compendium of chapters and concepts cunningly catches my curiosity.  Bookmark left in my first love, I’m off to a new found non-fiction fling.  What’s a reader to do?  I need something, someone, anything to keep me on track!

    I’m a Father. I love my kids.  Always have.  More today than ever.  I have to guard my heart against thinking I’m giving them everything they need though  if I’m not also thinking about and planning for  the time when I’m gone one day.  I’m a self-admitted here-and-now Dad.  Sometimes this is good, but sometimes it’s bad.  I can’t forget to think long term.  I can’t forget to preserve as much of what I’ve learned and done as possible – because one day I won’t be here to tell them anymore.  What’s a Dad to do?  I need something, someone, anything to keep me on track!

    I’m a forget-er. I love to learn.  I would love to remember what I’ve learned.  This is specially true when it comes to books.  One of the worst feelings is seeing a book you know you’ve read but you’re unable to recall most if not all of it’s contents.  I’m a self-admitted amnesiac.  Sometimes this is good.  Some things (even some books) are worth forgetting.  But sometimes this is bad.  What’s the point of intake if there isn’t productive output as well?  I can gain much knowledge from what I read, but if after serious reflection, that knowledge doesn’t bring forth wisdom, then it’s been a waste.  What’s a forget-er to do?  I need something, someone, anything to keep me on track!

    LibraryThing helps me with all three of these issues.  Yeah, I got issues.  🙂  LibraryThing is one of the online book cataloging sites.  Because I can enter each book that I’m currently reading, it (usually) keeps my wandering eyes on track toward completing a current book before I start a new one.  It’s a great feeling of gratification to move a book from “Currently Reading” to “My Collection“.  For me, it’s a virtual way of setting a goal and sticking to it.  As a Father, LT provides a great venue for writing my thoughts down about the books I’m reading, have read or plan to read.  I can recommend certain books to the children and caution them about others.  I can tell them not to waste their time with certain authors or genres.  Not only is it great to have a list of books your Dad has read, but his thoughts and reflections on those books is all the more precious to you once he’s gone.  As a forget-er, LibraryThing saves the day.  I always have before me, all the books I’ve read(not many apparently, compared with most LT members ).  Physically, my books either get tucked back on the shelves at home for reference later or, more often, get loaned out or given away to a friend, family or stranger.  So when I’ve forgotten what I’ve read 3 years ago, I can quickly dig into the book at one location and get a quick refresher on material I’ve not thought about for a time.

    I write all of this to recommend LT to you.  If not LT, there are many other book cataloging social network sites and there are many other additional features and helps on them that I have not mentioned in this post (linking you with others who’ve read your books, local book events, etc).

    This is not a “I do this, so you need to do this too” sales pitch.  I’m just excited about this one little corner of the web and wanted to tell you about it in case you’re interested in using it yourself.

    If you do sign up, let me know what you think!

    -paul

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    4 Responses

    1. ever read an excerpt in a magazine, later read the book, & feel like it’s deja’vue?

      • Yes! And what is worse is getting a new book and being so excited you read the forward. But then you put it away for months or years and when you pick it back up and start at the beginning you start thinking, “wait…have I read this already? What the? I don’t want to waste my time if I’ve already…..”

        lol!!

    2. First of all, we miss you guys so much…. Justin has blog, it’s more for fun than anything. It’s justinssmith77.wordpress.com….anyway….I have a book recomendation for you…..Paradise Restored by David Chilton……mindblowing. Hope you are having a great year….planning a trip in the fall.
      God’s grace to you,
      Faith

    3. Thanks, Faith! Great to hear from you. I’ve added Paradise Restored to my Half.com wish list. When I get through the other 200 or so books I’m reading, I’ll buy that one. 🙂

      Hope you are well, sister!!

      paul

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