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  • Heard in the Dare House

  • Naomi"Mom, isn't the Charleston that dance on that show Fresh Prince...or....?"
  • Pete"We should all act out a Shakespeare play. Maybe Macbeth?"
    Anna "Oh! I want to play MacMeth!"

  • Josh"Owe! I bit my tongue!"
    Mom "That's not part of dinner, dude."
    Josh"I know. That's why I didn't bite it off, Michael Tyson"

  • Dad "Josh, do you know who Mike Tyson bit?"
    Josh"Uuuhh...yeah...like... Leonard Skimmer?"

  • Anna [When we were all talking about love languages, Dad explains how you can change over your life]"Oh yeah, totally. 'Cause I used to be into drawing."
  • Anna [after falling off her bike]"I'm OK! I don't need the arcade kit!"
  • Dad [Getting ready to give a gift to the girls for their piano recital]"Alright girls, we're going to do something that's long overdue."
    Anna "Ha. Probably taxes..."

  • Josh [After reading Peter's sign that said, "DJ takes requests, and tips] "Hey. I have a tip for you. If people don't like the song you're playing, you should change it."
  • Anna "Sometimes I look around and think, I am Anna...and these are other people..."
  • Josh "Listen. You give me the Simon's Quest code and I'll shop in the women's section!"
  • Josh "You smell like an air freshener, Mom."
    Dad "oh Josh those are kind of cheap so that sounds like you’re kind of insulting Mom when you say that."
    Josh "MMMMmmmm…you smell like a $100 air freshener."

  • Anna "Mom. Where’s the first Bible ever. Like ever."
    Mom "Ummm, I’m not sure. But maybe you could ask Dad about that"
    Anna "Well. I was gonna, but I didn’t want to get a whole sermon…so I asked you"

  • Dad "Hmm. These chips taste stale."
    Mom "They're not stale. They're just from Aldi."

  • Naomi "Look Mom! My foot is bigger than Anna's whole face!"
  • Peter [Interrupting Mom quizzing Naomi on Science by asking, "What's inside the membrane of a cell?"] "...Insane?"
  • Anna [Seeing Almonso Wilder grab Laura Ingles' engagement ring from the kitchen on Little House] "Hmph. He just grabbed a chill pill."
  • Josh "Dad, my grammar book must be in labor. It keeps talking about contractions"
  • Josh [After Dad picked a crumb off Josh's shirt]"Dad, you're like a parasite, cleaning me."
  • Anna[Watching Dorothy's friends break her out of the wicked witch's castle]: "Well. That's why you always keep your axe with ya."
  • Josh: "I wonder if there are any tornadoes at the campground we're going to."
    Anna: "Yes. There are. I know. I checked on E-Bay."

  • Mom: "Mmmm, Josh. You smell really good. Are you wearing cologne?"
    Josh: "Wait. My.....Clone Trooper, you mean?"

  • Mom: "I delivered all four of these kids. The least they can do is let me have the rest of the dill pickle potato chips!"
  • Josh: "You're a weak-aholic!"
    Dad: "A weakaholic?!"
    Josh: "Yeah. You're addicted to being weak!"

  • Dad: [After listening to the long piano intro to Chicago's Does anybody really know what time it is?] "I don't like that dissident music. It's all crazy and off time."
    Anna: "I like it! 'Cuz that's how I play!"

  • Paul: "So according to this book kids, who shot JFK?"
    Josh: "Lee Elvis Hardwell?"

  • Paul: "How Many Kings by Downhere is a perfect running song. The beat is just my pace."
    Jen: "Oh yeah? My song is Canon in D."

  • Anna[while washing herself in the shower]: "Hmmmmm. Arms are helpful."
  • Anna [Seeing Mom running water in the kitchen sink]: "Hey! You want to pay bills?!"
    Mom: "Huh?"
    Anna: "You're wasting!"

  • Josh: "Mom, can I play Mario?"
    Mom: "No Josh. Today is craft day. We're doing stuff for someone."
    Josh: "Yeah. I was gonna beat the game for Dad."

  • Anna: [Laying in bed, in a depressed voice]"Naomi, what do I do with life?"
    Naomi: "Uhh...how about you go to sleep?"

  • Mom: "Weird, I've always heard that song differently. But hey, what am I?"
    Anna: "A human being!"

  • Anna: [After being told to eat her dinner]"Mom, I took two bites! You can see the ground!"
  • Josh: "Man, I want to go to a casino."
    Mom: "What?!"
    Josh: "Wait. Is casino the same as gazebo?"

  • Jen to the kids: "Guys, don't forget toppings for your salad. The more colors on your salad, the better it is for you."
    Josh: "Even if it has Superman ice cream on it?!"

  • Anna"Huh? Craig has a list?"
  • Anna"Naomi, can you look at your calendar with your eyes closed?"
    Naomi"No. No one can, silly."
    Anna"Chuck Norris can!!"

  • Mom"Thanks to Naomi, who passed her headache on to me."
    Naomi"Pastor Headache? Who's Pastor Headache?!"

  • Darefamily: “Night, Pete. Night, Naomi. Night, Mom. Night, Dad...”
    Anna: “Night, vision!”

  • Anna: “Dad, do you believe in Santa?”
    Dad: “Sure, St. Nicholas was at the council of Nicea. He punched Arius in the mouth for his heresy…”
    Anna: “Hmmmm…I don’t remember seeing that in the video…”

  • Pete: "Josh, you know what the Pope is, right?"
    Josh: "Yeah. The stuff in the orange juice."

  • Anna: "Yeah! Let's get this starty parted!"
  • Josh"Bummer Mom, you're not ticklish. But I can still hurt you, because your nervous system is working!"
  • Josh"Sorry Grandma, I don't really like antiques...unless they have up to date stuff."
  • Naomi:"I'm not sure what I'm more afraid of, a whale or a shark, 'cuz I know how to fight a shark, 'cuz they're really weak in the eyes..."
  • the after, After (Before and After)

    i did it.  i finished the quilt!!!  not without much adventure though.  i had thought i was going to quilt it myself.  i am so cheap.  everywhere i checked out it was going to cost at least $100 to free-motion quilt this bad boy.  we are talking queen sized here!!  so, i headed to JoAnn’s to try to find a the right foot for my sewing machine.  while there, i chatted with a woman who works in the sewing machine department.  she counseled me NOT to attempt it as i would never be able to make it to the center of the quilt.  she gave me the number of “a woman who does excellent quilting work.  also, it is $60 for a queen sized quilt.”  Woo Hoo!!  i was willing to pay that to have it done right.  so was paul. 🙂  the only down side was that the woman lives in Dexter which is close to an hour away from me.  no big deal though because we have some great friends who live out that way and it was a nice day to take a drive.

    so last thursday, i loaded up the kids and headed out that way.  i worked hard and fast to get that thing put together just right for her.  and i was so stinking excited!!  we drove and drove and drove.  and then i called paul at work because i was sure by then i had missed a turn.  nope.  kept on driving and driving and driving…and driving and driving…i am sure it was more than an hour at this point.  did i mention that  i was not so sure i had enough gas to get to wherever i was headed?  i failed to fill up when i noticed i was low on fuel when i got off the express way.  oops.

    we reached the woman’s house after passing it once and going about 2 miles too far.  she has a barn on her property with four of these machines going to town on these beautiful quilts that people have sewn together.  really nice stuff.  i show her what i have and do you know what happened??  she told me no!!!  very politely of course and even told me how to do it myself.  she said that tying the quilt would be the best approach.  with all the different types of fabric being used, the quilt would likely bunch and fold in places it is not supposed to!  ahhh!!  after all we had been through at this point!  so we got in the car and i chuckled and thanked the Lord for a safe travel and for keeping us from running out of gas and for the lady being so nice to tell me how to finish the quilt myself without ruining it.  and we started back home.  by now the kids had been in the car almost 1 1/2 hours with 1 hour to go.  they were thirsty and getting a  little hungry.  what a bunch of troopers!  i took them to Sonic to get 1/2 price slushies and a small pack of fries.  we pulled into a parking lot next door to get out and stretch our legs.  two minutes after ‘stretching’, anna says “i need to go to the bathroom”.  of course.  i can’t complain though.  not ONE potty stop until then.  so we headed over to a friends house to pick up naomi and use their bathroom. (i have a phobia of public bathrooms.  they completely gross me out.)

    all that to say, i finished the quilt yesterday and it turned out fantastic.  for the before and almost after, click here.

    and now for the after, After:

    finished!  complete with binding

    finished! complete with binding

    here is part of the back so you can see the ties and the little bit of quilting on it

    side, closer view

    it isn’t what i wanted in the beginning but i am happy with it.  my wonderful husband keeps encouraging me and reminding me that it is a great thing to have and a nice heirloom to pass down.  he’s right.  the kids keep looking at it saying “I REMEMBER THAT SHIRT!!”  or “OH! THOSE PANTS!!”  it will be a great thing to have around.

    jen

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    6 Responses

    1. So THIS is why Josh keeps yelling from his bedroom each night, “MOM! Have you seen my froggy jammies?!”

      Looks sweet, honey. Seriously shocked and awed by your work here.

      Sew Awesome! 🙂

      -paul

    2. Awesome! I love it!!!!

    3. Poor Josh and his froggy pajamas. But I must say, when I looked at the quilt, the frog pattern was the first thing that jumped out at me. Um, no pun intended. lol!!

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