• Pick a Category

  • Heard in the Dare House

  • Naomi"Mom, isn't the Charleston that dance on that show Fresh Prince...or....?"
  • Pete"We should all act out a Shakespeare play. Maybe Macbeth?"
    Anna "Oh! I want to play MacMeth!"

  • Josh"Owe! I bit my tongue!"
    Mom "That's not part of dinner, dude."
    Josh"I know. That's why I didn't bite it off, Michael Tyson"

  • Dad "Josh, do you know who Mike Tyson bit?"
    Josh"Uuuhh...yeah...like... Leonard Skimmer?"

  • Anna [When we were all talking about love languages, Dad explains how you can change over your life]"Oh yeah, totally. 'Cause I used to be into drawing."
  • Anna [after falling off her bike]"I'm OK! I don't need the arcade kit!"
  • Dad [Getting ready to give a gift to the girls for their piano recital]"Alright girls, we're going to do something that's long overdue."
    Anna "Ha. Probably taxes..."

  • Josh [After reading Peter's sign that said, "DJ takes requests, and tips] "Hey. I have a tip for you. If people don't like the song you're playing, you should change it."
  • Anna "Sometimes I look around and think, I am Anna...and these are other people..."
  • Josh "Listen. You give me the Simon's Quest code and I'll shop in the women's section!"
  • Josh "You smell like an air freshener, Mom."
    Dad "oh Josh those are kind of cheap so that sounds like you’re kind of insulting Mom when you say that."
    Josh "MMMMmmmm…you smell like a $100 air freshener."

  • Anna "Mom. Where’s the first Bible ever. Like ever."
    Mom "Ummm, I’m not sure. But maybe you could ask Dad about that"
    Anna "Well. I was gonna, but I didn’t want to get a whole sermon…so I asked you"

  • Dad "Hmm. These chips taste stale."
    Mom "They're not stale. They're just from Aldi."

  • Naomi "Look Mom! My foot is bigger than Anna's whole face!"
  • Peter [Interrupting Mom quizzing Naomi on Science by asking, "What's inside the membrane of a cell?"] "...Insane?"
  • Anna [Seeing Almonso Wilder grab Laura Ingles' engagement ring from the kitchen on Little House] "Hmph. He just grabbed a chill pill."
  • Josh "Dad, my grammar book must be in labor. It keeps talking about contractions"
  • Josh [After Dad picked a crumb off Josh's shirt]"Dad, you're like a parasite, cleaning me."
  • Anna[Watching Dorothy's friends break her out of the wicked witch's castle]: "Well. That's why you always keep your axe with ya."
  • Josh: "I wonder if there are any tornadoes at the campground we're going to."
    Anna: "Yes. There are. I know. I checked on E-Bay."

  • Mom: "Mmmm, Josh. You smell really good. Are you wearing cologne?"
    Josh: "Wait. My.....Clone Trooper, you mean?"

  • Mom: "I delivered all four of these kids. The least they can do is let me have the rest of the dill pickle potato chips!"
  • Josh: "You're a weak-aholic!"
    Dad: "A weakaholic?!"
    Josh: "Yeah. You're addicted to being weak!"

  • Dad: [After listening to the long piano intro to Chicago's Does anybody really know what time it is?] "I don't like that dissident music. It's all crazy and off time."
    Anna: "I like it! 'Cuz that's how I play!"

  • Paul: "So according to this book kids, who shot JFK?"
    Josh: "Lee Elvis Hardwell?"

  • Paul: "How Many Kings by Downhere is a perfect running song. The beat is just my pace."
    Jen: "Oh yeah? My song is Canon in D."

  • Anna[while washing herself in the shower]: "Hmmmmm. Arms are helpful."
  • Anna [Seeing Mom running water in the kitchen sink]: "Hey! You want to pay bills?!"
    Mom: "Huh?"
    Anna: "You're wasting!"

  • Josh: "Mom, can I play Mario?"
    Mom: "No Josh. Today is craft day. We're doing stuff for someone."
    Josh: "Yeah. I was gonna beat the game for Dad."

  • Anna: [Laying in bed, in a depressed voice]"Naomi, what do I do with life?"
    Naomi: "Uhh...how about you go to sleep?"

  • Mom: "Weird, I've always heard that song differently. But hey, what am I?"
    Anna: "A human being!"

  • Anna: [After being told to eat her dinner]"Mom, I took two bites! You can see the ground!"
  • Josh: "Man, I want to go to a casino."
    Mom: "What?!"
    Josh: "Wait. Is casino the same as gazebo?"

  • Jen to the kids: "Guys, don't forget toppings for your salad. The more colors on your salad, the better it is for you."
    Josh: "Even if it has Superman ice cream on it?!"

  • Anna"Huh? Craig has a list?"
  • Anna"Naomi, can you look at your calendar with your eyes closed?"
    Naomi"No. No one can, silly."
    Anna"Chuck Norris can!!"

  • Mom"Thanks to Naomi, who passed her headache on to me."
    Naomi"Pastor Headache? Who's Pastor Headache?!"

  • Darefamily: “Night, Pete. Night, Naomi. Night, Mom. Night, Dad...”
    Anna: “Night, vision!”

  • Anna: “Dad, do you believe in Santa?”
    Dad: “Sure, St. Nicholas was at the council of Nicea. He punched Arius in the mouth for his heresy…”
    Anna: “Hmmmm…I don’t remember seeing that in the video…”

  • Pete: "Josh, you know what the Pope is, right?"
    Josh: "Yeah. The stuff in the orange juice."

  • Anna: "Yeah! Let's get this starty parted!"
  • Josh"Bummer Mom, you're not ticklish. But I can still hurt you, because your nervous system is working!"
  • Josh"Sorry Grandma, I don't really like antiques...unless they have up to date stuff."
  • Naomi:"I'm not sure what I'm more afraid of, a whale or a shark, 'cuz I know how to fight a shark, 'cuz they're really weak in the eyes..."
  • Overwhelmed by Grace!

    “You are good and what you do is good…” – Psalm 119:68

    “This is the Lord’s doing and it is marvelous in our eyes” – Psalm 118:23

    “Many oh Lord my God are the wonders you have done…” – Psalm 40:5

    “My whole being will exclaim, “Who is like you, O LORD ?” – Psalm 35:10

    I’m swimming, floating and smiling in an ocean of God’s grace.  The good hand of providence could not be more clear and amazing to me than at this moment.  The events of the last few days are a sudden and unexpected reminder that our God is alive, well and reigning supreme in the affairs of men.  He’s not only Lord most high, but the Lord who looks upon the lowly (Psalm 138:6).  Some things I’ve learned and been reminded of in the last few days are listed below.  I hope they will encourage you.

    Don’t give up!

    This is really the heading for all the rest, but if you are struggling, you have failed or you feel like others have failed you; if there is strain in your relationships with others.  Whatever the issue(s) – Don’t give up!  Don’t stop praying.  Don’t stop hearing, thinking about and speaking the truth.  Don’t stop being eager to reach out, be gracious, forgiving, repentant, humble and giving to those you’ve had a falling out with.  Don’t give up.  God is good and him timing is perfect.  He can do more than we could ever ask or imagine.

    Watch what you sayWhen times are tough, issues arise, failures are in your face and you’re feeling down – temptations are high to start lowering the guard on your tongue and say things you know aren’t beneficial.  Sometimes they aren’t even true.  The hurt, either from your own sins or the sins of others, opens the door to be tempted to say things you shouldn’t.  If any man can keep his tongue fully in check, he’s a perfect man, says James (James 3).  Be on guard and be slow to speak.  Ask those around you to help keep you accountable so you don’t say things that are untrue or driven by suspicion.  You’ll regret those words one day if God turns things around.

    Stay in the Bible – Let’s face it: lies are everywhere.  Our head is filled with evil thoughts, the world pumps lies at us using every medium available and we have one called “the accuser, the father of lies” who constantly whispers and suggests that we believe a warped and twisted version of what is true.  If we aren’t reading, thinking about, hearing and studying the truth, it’s sure going to be hard to do any deflection work against all of these lies.  The Bible is truth.  It’s not just true, it’s the standard of all truth.  It’s living and active, sharp as a double-edged sword and cuts through lies, tells us the truth about God, about ourselves, about others.  We have been given everything for life and godliness – let’s read it.  It’s our ammunition as we wade through the rice patties and deserts of the spiritual battlefield fighting against deception, temptation and sin.

    Be around other believers – I cannot count the number of times that my brothers and sisters in Christ have shared a struggle or victory with me that hasn’t either immediately encouraged me or prepared me for a future trial I had not yet entered.  We desperately need each other.  We need to speak truth to others, we need others to speak truth to us.  We are saved from the wrath to come and into a community of others saved from the wrath to come.  There is no such thing as a Christian Lone Ranger.  Even Noah was not alone in the ark.  God, completely able to save him alone, was gracious to give him others during the rescue.

    I hope God’s recent and amazing work in my life will encourage you to not lose hope.  He makes all things new.  He delights to repair and restore.  He loves when people dwell together in unity, resolve differences and choose love over avoidance and irritation.

    Now, if I could only learn to stop causing problems, things would be so much better.  I’m thankful He is so patient with me and others.  Overwhelming patience and grace, indeed.

    -paul

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    2 Responses

    1. you are wonderful and thanks for the reminder…if i could stop causing problems with you, well, wouldn’t life be so much easier?!?!?

      I LOVE YOU and thanks for this!

    2. Praise the Lord. His grace is still and always will be amazing.

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