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  • Heard in the Dare House

  • Naomi"Mom, isn't the Charleston that dance on that show Fresh Prince...or....?"
  • Pete"We should all act out a Shakespeare play. Maybe Macbeth?"
    Anna "Oh! I want to play MacMeth!"

  • Josh"Owe! I bit my tongue!"
    Mom "That's not part of dinner, dude."
    Josh"I know. That's why I didn't bite it off, Michael Tyson"

  • Dad "Josh, do you know who Mike Tyson bit?"
    Josh"Uuuhh...yeah...like... Leonard Skimmer?"

  • Anna [When we were all talking about love languages, Dad explains how you can change over your life]"Oh yeah, totally. 'Cause I used to be into drawing."
  • Anna [after falling off her bike]"I'm OK! I don't need the arcade kit!"
  • Dad [Getting ready to give a gift to the girls for their piano recital]"Alright girls, we're going to do something that's long overdue."
    Anna "Ha. Probably taxes..."

  • Josh [After reading Peter's sign that said, "DJ takes requests, and tips] "Hey. I have a tip for you. If people don't like the song you're playing, you should change it."
  • Anna "Sometimes I look around and think, I am Anna...and these are other people..."
  • Josh "Listen. You give me the Simon's Quest code and I'll shop in the women's section!"
  • Josh "You smell like an air freshener, Mom."
    Dad "oh Josh those are kind of cheap so that sounds like you’re kind of insulting Mom when you say that."
    Josh "MMMMmmmm…you smell like a $100 air freshener."

  • Anna "Mom. Where’s the first Bible ever. Like ever."
    Mom "Ummm, I’m not sure. But maybe you could ask Dad about that"
    Anna "Well. I was gonna, but I didn’t want to get a whole sermon…so I asked you"

  • Dad "Hmm. These chips taste stale."
    Mom "They're not stale. They're just from Aldi."

  • Naomi "Look Mom! My foot is bigger than Anna's whole face!"
  • Peter [Interrupting Mom quizzing Naomi on Science by asking, "What's inside the membrane of a cell?"] "...Insane?"
  • Anna [Seeing Almonso Wilder grab Laura Ingles' engagement ring from the kitchen on Little House] "Hmph. He just grabbed a chill pill."
  • Josh "Dad, my grammar book must be in labor. It keeps talking about contractions"
  • Josh [After Dad picked a crumb off Josh's shirt]"Dad, you're like a parasite, cleaning me."
  • Anna[Watching Dorothy's friends break her out of the wicked witch's castle]: "Well. That's why you always keep your axe with ya."
  • Josh: "I wonder if there are any tornadoes at the campground we're going to."
    Anna: "Yes. There are. I know. I checked on E-Bay."

  • Mom: "Mmmm, Josh. You smell really good. Are you wearing cologne?"
    Josh: "Wait. My.....Clone Trooper, you mean?"

  • Mom: "I delivered all four of these kids. The least they can do is let me have the rest of the dill pickle potato chips!"
  • Josh: "You're a weak-aholic!"
    Dad: "A weakaholic?!"
    Josh: "Yeah. You're addicted to being weak!"

  • Dad: [After listening to the long piano intro to Chicago's Does anybody really know what time it is?] "I don't like that dissident music. It's all crazy and off time."
    Anna: "I like it! 'Cuz that's how I play!"

  • Paul: "So according to this book kids, who shot JFK?"
    Josh: "Lee Elvis Hardwell?"

  • Paul: "How Many Kings by Downhere is a perfect running song. The beat is just my pace."
    Jen: "Oh yeah? My song is Canon in D."

  • Anna[while washing herself in the shower]: "Hmmmmm. Arms are helpful."
  • Anna [Seeing Mom running water in the kitchen sink]: "Hey! You want to pay bills?!"
    Mom: "Huh?"
    Anna: "You're wasting!"

  • Josh: "Mom, can I play Mario?"
    Mom: "No Josh. Today is craft day. We're doing stuff for someone."
    Josh: "Yeah. I was gonna beat the game for Dad."

  • Anna: [Laying in bed, in a depressed voice]"Naomi, what do I do with life?"
    Naomi: "Uhh...how about you go to sleep?"

  • Mom: "Weird, I've always heard that song differently. But hey, what am I?"
    Anna: "A human being!"

  • Anna: [After being told to eat her dinner]"Mom, I took two bites! You can see the ground!"
  • Josh: "Man, I want to go to a casino."
    Mom: "What?!"
    Josh: "Wait. Is casino the same as gazebo?"

  • Jen to the kids: "Guys, don't forget toppings for your salad. The more colors on your salad, the better it is for you."
    Josh: "Even if it has Superman ice cream on it?!"

  • Anna"Huh? Craig has a list?"
  • Anna"Naomi, can you look at your calendar with your eyes closed?"
    Naomi"No. No one can, silly."
    Anna"Chuck Norris can!!"

  • Mom"Thanks to Naomi, who passed her headache on to me."
    Naomi"Pastor Headache? Who's Pastor Headache?!"

  • Darefamily: “Night, Pete. Night, Naomi. Night, Mom. Night, Dad...”
    Anna: “Night, vision!”

  • Anna: “Dad, do you believe in Santa?”
    Dad: “Sure, St. Nicholas was at the council of Nicea. He punched Arius in the mouth for his heresy…”
    Anna: “Hmmmm…I don’t remember seeing that in the video…”

  • Pete: "Josh, you know what the Pope is, right?"
    Josh: "Yeah. The stuff in the orange juice."

  • Anna: "Yeah! Let's get this starty parted!"
  • Josh"Bummer Mom, you're not ticklish. But I can still hurt you, because your nervous system is working!"
  • Josh"Sorry Grandma, I don't really like antiques...unless they have up to date stuff."
  • Naomi:"I'm not sure what I'm more afraid of, a whale or a shark, 'cuz I know how to fight a shark, 'cuz they're really weak in the eyes..."
  • Down with Entitlement!

    I was talking with a dear friend at church this past Sunday who was sharing how much she noticed people complaining at the doctor’s office she was recently at.  She sat stunned at the thought that here, in America, where so many of us even have the insurance coverage to be able to go to the doctor, so many people could sit there and complain about the wait, about the care, about everything.

    I won’t even get started on how thankful we all ought to be for the medical industry in our country.  But this conversation really got me thinking.  In fact, it’s opened my eyes to start seeing things in a different or more clearer light.  In a more thankful light, to be specific.  Here is a short list of some things that I’ve noticed recently that remind me of the grace of God in the ever day activities of life.

    Veteran’s Discounts

    Ripping up and trying to remodel our kitchen has me making many trips to the local big box stores.  Jen’s Grandfather recently informed us that he gets a veteran’s discount at both Home Depot and Lowe’s.  I asked our local stores and, yes indeed, I’m eligible for the same 10% discount.  How great!  Now, I could think differently about this.  I could conclude that it’s owed to me, by local retailers, for my service to the country.  But it’s not.  Entitlement has no place here.  Down with entitlement.  This is a kind and generous thing for these stores to do for veterans.  I’m thankful to them for the gesture.  Does anyone know the email address of the CEOs for these companies so I can say “thanks”? 🙂

    Ceiling fans mounted above the light bulb section

    OK, maybe most of these observations are going to come from the home improvement stores.  Hey!  I’m practically living there, right now!  So, has anyone else noticed these at your local Home Depot?  They mounted ceiling fans above the light bulb section.  How many times have you been in this section to buy ceiling fan bulbs and you’re sitting there completely devoid of any memory of the size bulb you need?  How kind of the store managers to think of putting a fan right in front of the customer to help them find the bulb they need.  That’s just a practical and thoughtful thing to do.  Yeah, yeah, I know.  They want us to buy bulbs.  I get it, it’s business.  But still – that’s going the extra step to help us and to me it’s just a nice gesture.

    Cutting something in half for me

    Again, props to warehouse-sized home centers (I promise I haven’t been paid for these plugs!).  I actually used to do this at the lumber yard I worked at while in high school.  Nothing like ripping through some 3/4″ plywood with a wall mounted circular saw…like butter!  But, think about this.  These stores don’t have to do this.  How nice of them to pay all that money for the saw, train their guys to use it and cut things for their customer.  Be warned though – a 4×4 piece of plywood will not fit in the back of a 1996 Saturn SL.  (Thanks for coming to pick me and my plywood up yesterday, honey 🙂 )

    There are more.

    SO many more things to see and be thankful for.  It’s not about trying to find them, it’s about opening our eyes, changing our attitude from one of entitlement (“they owe me this”, “they better do this”) to one of thankfulness (“Wow, that was nice”, “They didn’t have to do that”) and just plain seeing them.  They are all around you and once you understand who you truly are and what you truly “deserve”, the things you get to enjoy are more clearly seen as gifts of grace from God and others.

    -paul

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    2 Responses

    1. this is called counting your blessings, not your worries

      p.s. what was the plywood for? cover up the floor under where the sink will be?

      Mom

      • amen to that. Yes – for the subfloor repair work…that can now be done because Mr. Hansel left a few hours ago and the plumbing is all done and ready for the dishwasher and ice machine.

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