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  • Heard in the Dare House

  • Naomi"Mom, isn't the Charleston that dance on that show Fresh Prince...or....?"
  • Pete"We should all act out a Shakespeare play. Maybe Macbeth?"
    Anna "Oh! I want to play MacMeth!"

  • Josh"Owe! I bit my tongue!"
    Mom "That's not part of dinner, dude."
    Josh"I know. That's why I didn't bite it off, Michael Tyson"

  • Dad "Josh, do you know who Mike Tyson bit?"
    Josh"Uuuhh...yeah...like... Leonard Skimmer?"

  • Anna [When we were all talking about love languages, Dad explains how you can change over your life]"Oh yeah, totally. 'Cause I used to be into drawing."
  • Anna [after falling off her bike]"I'm OK! I don't need the arcade kit!"
  • Dad [Getting ready to give a gift to the girls for their piano recital]"Alright girls, we're going to do something that's long overdue."
    Anna "Ha. Probably taxes..."

  • Josh [After reading Peter's sign that said, "DJ takes requests, and tips] "Hey. I have a tip for you. If people don't like the song you're playing, you should change it."
  • Anna "Sometimes I look around and think, I am Anna...and these are other people..."
  • Josh "Listen. You give me the Simon's Quest code and I'll shop in the women's section!"
  • Josh "You smell like an air freshener, Mom."
    Dad "oh Josh those are kind of cheap so that sounds like you’re kind of insulting Mom when you say that."
    Josh "MMMMmmmm…you smell like a $100 air freshener."

  • Anna "Mom. Where’s the first Bible ever. Like ever."
    Mom "Ummm, I’m not sure. But maybe you could ask Dad about that"
    Anna "Well. I was gonna, but I didn’t want to get a whole sermon…so I asked you"

  • Dad "Hmm. These chips taste stale."
    Mom "They're not stale. They're just from Aldi."

  • Naomi "Look Mom! My foot is bigger than Anna's whole face!"
  • Peter [Interrupting Mom quizzing Naomi on Science by asking, "What's inside the membrane of a cell?"] "...Insane?"
  • Anna [Seeing Almonso Wilder grab Laura Ingles' engagement ring from the kitchen on Little House] "Hmph. He just grabbed a chill pill."
  • Josh "Dad, my grammar book must be in labor. It keeps talking about contractions"
  • Josh [After Dad picked a crumb off Josh's shirt]"Dad, you're like a parasite, cleaning me."
  • Anna[Watching Dorothy's friends break her out of the wicked witch's castle]: "Well. That's why you always keep your axe with ya."
  • Josh: "I wonder if there are any tornadoes at the campground we're going to."
    Anna: "Yes. There are. I know. I checked on E-Bay."

  • Mom: "Mmmm, Josh. You smell really good. Are you wearing cologne?"
    Josh: "Wait. My.....Clone Trooper, you mean?"

  • Mom: "I delivered all four of these kids. The least they can do is let me have the rest of the dill pickle potato chips!"
  • Josh: "You're a weak-aholic!"
    Dad: "A weakaholic?!"
    Josh: "Yeah. You're addicted to being weak!"

  • Dad: [After listening to the long piano intro to Chicago's Does anybody really know what time it is?] "I don't like that dissident music. It's all crazy and off time."
    Anna: "I like it! 'Cuz that's how I play!"

  • Paul: "So according to this book kids, who shot JFK?"
    Josh: "Lee Elvis Hardwell?"

  • Paul: "How Many Kings by Downhere is a perfect running song. The beat is just my pace."
    Jen: "Oh yeah? My song is Canon in D."

  • Anna[while washing herself in the shower]: "Hmmmmm. Arms are helpful."
  • Anna [Seeing Mom running water in the kitchen sink]: "Hey! You want to pay bills?!"
    Mom: "Huh?"
    Anna: "You're wasting!"

  • Josh: "Mom, can I play Mario?"
    Mom: "No Josh. Today is craft day. We're doing stuff for someone."
    Josh: "Yeah. I was gonna beat the game for Dad."

  • Anna: [Laying in bed, in a depressed voice]"Naomi, what do I do with life?"
    Naomi: "Uhh...how about you go to sleep?"

  • Mom: "Weird, I've always heard that song differently. But hey, what am I?"
    Anna: "A human being!"

  • Anna: [After being told to eat her dinner]"Mom, I took two bites! You can see the ground!"
  • Josh: "Man, I want to go to a casino."
    Mom: "What?!"
    Josh: "Wait. Is casino the same as gazebo?"

  • Jen to the kids: "Guys, don't forget toppings for your salad. The more colors on your salad, the better it is for you."
    Josh: "Even if it has Superman ice cream on it?!"

  • Anna"Huh? Craig has a list?"
  • Anna"Naomi, can you look at your calendar with your eyes closed?"
    Naomi"No. No one can, silly."
    Anna"Chuck Norris can!!"

  • Mom"Thanks to Naomi, who passed her headache on to me."
    Naomi"Pastor Headache? Who's Pastor Headache?!"

  • Darefamily: “Night, Pete. Night, Naomi. Night, Mom. Night, Dad...”
    Anna: “Night, vision!”

  • Anna: “Dad, do you believe in Santa?”
    Dad: “Sure, St. Nicholas was at the council of Nicea. He punched Arius in the mouth for his heresy…”
    Anna: “Hmmmm…I don’t remember seeing that in the video…”

  • Pete: "Josh, you know what the Pope is, right?"
    Josh: "Yeah. The stuff in the orange juice."

  • Anna: "Yeah! Let's get this starty parted!"
  • Josh"Bummer Mom, you're not ticklish. But I can still hurt you, because your nervous system is working!"
  • Josh"Sorry Grandma, I don't really like antiques...unless they have up to date stuff."
  • Naomi:"I'm not sure what I'm more afraid of, a whale or a shark, 'cuz I know how to fight a shark, 'cuz they're really weak in the eyes..."
  • God works at Burger King

    ok,…now that i have your attention.  i do not mean to be irreverant.  this is not like the whole ‘Jesus in the bag of Doritos’ thing…hang in there.  this will all make sense.

    so, we are working on our kitchen.  now, i will attempt to let you in on the ‘personal’ side of jen.  i have a big struggle with money and redoing a kitchen is costly.  it does not matter the dollar amount i have in the bank.  if i have $5, i  tend to panic.  if i have $5,000, i tend to panic.  the issue is not the money.  it is where my trust is and where it is NOT.  i didn’t always have this problem.  it has gotten worse over the years and it is a battle.  i love how my husband is faithful to remind me that we could be flat broke and we are richer already than many people in the world.    the Lord never fails to put me in my place when this struggle gets to be overwhelming.  hence, Burger King.

    so we were out of the house for the day while the plumber was here with the water shut off.  we ended up heading for home much later than planned and i had not made it to the grocery store.  there was not much to make a ‘dinner’ (i’m talking not even milk and cereal) so i called paul up and asked if he minded if we grabbed some burgers for dinner.  he said that was fine and to go ahead.

    the whole drive home, i was stressing.  why?  money.  because i was going to have to pay $10 for food that wasn’t even good for us.  and besides, couldn’t the $10 go a lot farther at Kroger!?!?  so i asked the kids just how hungry they were.  i looked in the rearview mirror and saw naomi.  this girl was looking not so good.  she said “i don’t know if i could make it to walk around the store”.  she was getting overly hungry and starting to feel sick.  i did not feel like dealing with that in the middle of Kroger with three other kiddos.  so i pulled into BK.  i ordered and the total was $10.09.  no kidding, i was starting to get a little stressed.  i could have gotten stuff for dinner and breakfast probably for that much!

    i pulled up and handed them my debit card to pay.  i sat there for 5 minutes waiting for a receipt.  i decided to pray (sadly is was a last resort and not my first 😦  )  when i prayed, i actually prayed for these burgers to be free.  i have never done that before.

    the girl tells me that the machine is having trouble and to please pull forward.  by this time we had sat there for at least 15 minutes.  i was a little frustrated because i could have been through Kroger by now!

    i pulled forward and the girl handed me the bag with my burgers.  i handed her my card and said “do i just pay you here?”  she told me that i was all set and that the manager told her to just give me the burgers and have a nice day.

    CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!?!?!?!?!?

    you should.  because God is that awesome.  not because He got me free dinner.  because He knew my struggle and TOOK CARE OF IT FOR ME!!  is that not just like Him?  He knew our sin problem and TOOK CARE OF IT THROUGH JESUS!!  wow.

    as if that was not enough…

    i got home and blubbered to my husband what a horrible person i am and how God is so good.  we went in, ate, and then after dinner, naomi and i went over to the neighbors.  her granddaughter was leaving the next morning and naomi had a little ‘going away’ gift for her.  while we were there, they mentioned that they had some leftover ‘kid food’ that they could not fit into their car and we were welcome to it.  i was thinking it would be a box of cereal, some crackers and maybe some cookies.  while they were offering, i remembered that i needed to get to the grocery store.  ugh.  it was 8:30 and i was tired.  NOT in the mood to go to the store.

    my neighbor’s daughter comes out of the kitchen with a tub FULL with two boxes of cereal, 4 mini boxes of cereal, pretzels, animal crackers, cheese crackers…i mean a LOT of stuff i was going to have to get.  the main thing i NEEDED from the store was cereal and here were two FULL boxes!!!  once again, in the same day…GOD TOOK CARE OF IT FOR ME!

    paul’s mouth dropped open when i walked in the door.  he looked at me and said “honey,…you have to write this down”

    uh…yeah.

    so i tell you this to tell you that HE can be trusted.  He is faithful.  He is reliable.  He is all-knowing.  He is awesome!!

    and i am not.  i will still struggle with money until i die probably.  but this helped me SO MUCH!  it is a battle and the battle is between two different masters:

    “No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money”   Matthew 6:24

    wow…it is so much better to serve the LIVING and TRUE God.

    so you can see how God works at BK.  He also works at our work and at our homes and at school, etc. because He works in us.  where we are, He is working…if we let Him.

    so thank you Burger King and thank you Jesus…i like having life ‘Your way’.

    😉

    jen

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    2 Responses

    1. Haha “your way”! I get it.
      Good story!!!!!

    2. Read it. Crying. Convicted. Encouraged. Thanks for sharing. I read it to my kids and my hubby. They loved it. Awesome example of God’s continual care for His own.

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