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  • Heard in the Dare House

  • Naomi"Mom, isn't the Charleston that dance on that show Fresh Prince...or....?"
  • Pete"We should all act out a Shakespeare play. Maybe Macbeth?"
    Anna "Oh! I want to play MacMeth!"

  • Josh"Owe! I bit my tongue!"
    Mom "That's not part of dinner, dude."
    Josh"I know. That's why I didn't bite it off, Michael Tyson"

  • Dad "Josh, do you know who Mike Tyson bit?"
    Josh"Uuuhh...yeah...like... Leonard Skimmer?"

  • Anna [When we were all talking about love languages, Dad explains how you can change over your life]"Oh yeah, totally. 'Cause I used to be into drawing."
  • Anna [after falling off her bike]"I'm OK! I don't need the arcade kit!"
  • Dad [Getting ready to give a gift to the girls for their piano recital]"Alright girls, we're going to do something that's long overdue."
    Anna "Ha. Probably taxes..."

  • Josh [After reading Peter's sign that said, "DJ takes requests, and tips] "Hey. I have a tip for you. If people don't like the song you're playing, you should change it."
  • Anna "Sometimes I look around and think, I am Anna...and these are other people..."
  • Josh "Listen. You give me the Simon's Quest code and I'll shop in the women's section!"
  • Josh "You smell like an air freshener, Mom."
    Dad "oh Josh those are kind of cheap so that sounds like you’re kind of insulting Mom when you say that."
    Josh "MMMMmmmm…you smell like a $100 air freshener."

  • Anna "Mom. Where’s the first Bible ever. Like ever."
    Mom "Ummm, I’m not sure. But maybe you could ask Dad about that"
    Anna "Well. I was gonna, but I didn’t want to get a whole sermon…so I asked you"

  • Dad "Hmm. These chips taste stale."
    Mom "They're not stale. They're just from Aldi."

  • Naomi "Look Mom! My foot is bigger than Anna's whole face!"
  • Peter [Interrupting Mom quizzing Naomi on Science by asking, "What's inside the membrane of a cell?"] "...Insane?"
  • Anna [Seeing Almonso Wilder grab Laura Ingles' engagement ring from the kitchen on Little House] "Hmph. He just grabbed a chill pill."
  • Josh "Dad, my grammar book must be in labor. It keeps talking about contractions"
  • Josh [After Dad picked a crumb off Josh's shirt]"Dad, you're like a parasite, cleaning me."
  • Anna[Watching Dorothy's friends break her out of the wicked witch's castle]: "Well. That's why you always keep your axe with ya."
  • Josh: "I wonder if there are any tornadoes at the campground we're going to."
    Anna: "Yes. There are. I know. I checked on E-Bay."

  • Mom: "Mmmm, Josh. You smell really good. Are you wearing cologne?"
    Josh: "Wait. My.....Clone Trooper, you mean?"

  • Mom: "I delivered all four of these kids. The least they can do is let me have the rest of the dill pickle potato chips!"
  • Josh: "You're a weak-aholic!"
    Dad: "A weakaholic?!"
    Josh: "Yeah. You're addicted to being weak!"

  • Dad: [After listening to the long piano intro to Chicago's Does anybody really know what time it is?] "I don't like that dissident music. It's all crazy and off time."
    Anna: "I like it! 'Cuz that's how I play!"

  • Paul: "So according to this book kids, who shot JFK?"
    Josh: "Lee Elvis Hardwell?"

  • Paul: "How Many Kings by Downhere is a perfect running song. The beat is just my pace."
    Jen: "Oh yeah? My song is Canon in D."

  • Anna[while washing herself in the shower]: "Hmmmmm. Arms are helpful."
  • Anna [Seeing Mom running water in the kitchen sink]: "Hey! You want to pay bills?!"
    Mom: "Huh?"
    Anna: "You're wasting!"

  • Josh: "Mom, can I play Mario?"
    Mom: "No Josh. Today is craft day. We're doing stuff for someone."
    Josh: "Yeah. I was gonna beat the game for Dad."

  • Anna: [Laying in bed, in a depressed voice]"Naomi, what do I do with life?"
    Naomi: "Uhh...how about you go to sleep?"

  • Mom: "Weird, I've always heard that song differently. But hey, what am I?"
    Anna: "A human being!"

  • Anna: [After being told to eat her dinner]"Mom, I took two bites! You can see the ground!"
  • Josh: "Man, I want to go to a casino."
    Mom: "What?!"
    Josh: "Wait. Is casino the same as gazebo?"

  • Jen to the kids: "Guys, don't forget toppings for your salad. The more colors on your salad, the better it is for you."
    Josh: "Even if it has Superman ice cream on it?!"

  • Anna"Huh? Craig has a list?"
  • Anna"Naomi, can you look at your calendar with your eyes closed?"
    Naomi"No. No one can, silly."
    Anna"Chuck Norris can!!"

  • Mom"Thanks to Naomi, who passed her headache on to me."
    Naomi"Pastor Headache? Who's Pastor Headache?!"

  • Darefamily: “Night, Pete. Night, Naomi. Night, Mom. Night, Dad...”
    Anna: “Night, vision!”

  • Anna: “Dad, do you believe in Santa?”
    Dad: “Sure, St. Nicholas was at the council of Nicea. He punched Arius in the mouth for his heresy…”
    Anna: “Hmmmm…I don’t remember seeing that in the video…”

  • Pete: "Josh, you know what the Pope is, right?"
    Josh: "Yeah. The stuff in the orange juice."

  • Anna: "Yeah! Let's get this starty parted!"
  • Josh"Bummer Mom, you're not ticklish. But I can still hurt you, because your nervous system is working!"
  • Josh"Sorry Grandma, I don't really like antiques...unless they have up to date stuff."
  • Naomi:"I'm not sure what I'm more afraid of, a whale or a shark, 'cuz I know how to fight a shark, 'cuz they're really weak in the eyes..."
  • People are people are people.

    We just returned from a four day trip to lovely Niagara Falls.  For those of you not familiar with this area of the country, this wonder of the world sits literally on the border of New York state and the country of Canada.  The Niagara River comes out of Lake Erie heading North toward Lake Ontario and dumps into the Niagara gorge at Goat Island where the river splits to form the Horeshoe (AKA: Canadian) falls and the Rainbow (AKA: American) falls.

    It’s a site to see, for sure.  Jen and I had a great time.  I mean, it’s the honeymoon capital of the world, how could we not?!  🙂

    We did notice one recurring theme as we walked around, stood in lines, people watched and took in the sites.  People are all the same.

    Let me back up for a moment.  The entire falls area, surrounding park and town were filled with people from every culture and country of the world.  Indian, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Western and Eastern European, French Canadian and even a few Americans too!  It was amazing to see all the different people groups having converged on this relatively small city to stand in awe while watching Niagara do its thing.

    This slideshow requires JavaScript.

    As we people watched, we came to a striking conclusion: People are all the same.  Yes, skin colors are different, facial features are unique, language is diverse, food, clothing, etc.  BUT – people, at their very core, are the same.  If you watched closely, you could spot what we mean.  Here are some behaviors we noticed that we think prove our point:

    • French husbands get annoyed and roll their eyes at their French wife.
    • Japanese children throw fits and disobey their Japanese parents.
    • Indian parents panic when they lose their little girl for 10 minutes.
    • Romanian’s faces light up when they see old friends or family members.

    These people, from thousands of miles away, from entirely different cultures, who speak languages I will never learn – are all just like me.  They are people, and all people are basically the same.  The things that make us different are really only secondary.  Essentially, we’re all the same.  We struggle and stumble.  We get annoyed and scared.  We worry and make bad choices.  We try, succeed and fail.

    This is why the good news of Jesus Christ, who He is and what He has done is such good news!  It applies to all people everywhere because it addresses the basic need of every human being, regardless of tongue, tribe, nation or skin color.  The effects of sin and rebellion are everywhere.  No people group lies unaffected.  The gospel solves this basic problem.  The person and work of one man, who was also God, directly affects and changes the very core of human nature for those who repent and put their trust in Christ.  Sin and death are met with sacrifice and life.  The cross and the resurrection reverse the curse!

    I loved the experience of seeing the falls again after so many years.  I loved being with my wife.  No matter where I’m at, its always great being with her.  I also loved and am thankful for the lesson God reminded me of as we watched the nations of the world move all around us.  People are the same, so His solution is the same. The Gospel is so glorious because what of what it solves for its recipients.

    -paul

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    3 Responses

    1. you forgot that Indian people refer to the ‘Book of Awesome’ in their own tongue as well…

      LOVED going with you and LOVE you more!!
      – wife

    2. Paul,
      so well written, I got right to the end, your comment about seeing the falls again “after so many years”, & thought, oh, the next line is, even tho my Mom had no recollection of taking me there!
      good column!

      Mom

      • Thanks, Mom! Don’t worry about forgetting about such a critical memory from my childhood. I forgive you. 🙂

        Hey-I forget stuff all the time. Just ask Jen…who I think is…my….wife. Yeah, wife. I think.

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