I have the greatest Mom on earth (Hi Mom!). Seriously though. Who keeps almost everything your goofy son penned as a kid? Well, MY Mom did! And yesterday, she passed the precious pile of papers on to me, her proud son.
So hey, I figured, “why keep all the fun to myself?” What if I periodically typed one of these gems up for everyone to “enjoy”. Here goes nothing –
Stuff I Wrote as a Kid – #1 (Completely unedited)–
I know this might sound strange, but it is as true as it can be. I just know that you have hard about people sticking things in a lightsocket and their hair sticking up like a pourcupine, but this story is a little different. I’m going to tell you about the time when I stuck something into the lightsocket and as quick as lightning blew the lights out in the house.
I was about six or seven and as stupid as a donkey when this crazy thing happend. We live4d in our old house then. It was the color of the backround the photographer uses for school pictures. The yard was the size of an olympic pool. Anyways I was up in my room playing with a toy fire truck that I got when I was two. I suddenly got bored and looked around for something to do. I was scanning the room like a radar when I suddenly stopped dead like a scared rabbit. There it was, the lightsocket. It looked so lonely I figured I’d go check it out. I kept my eyes on it like a zombie. I crept over to it like a wolf stalking its prey.
When I finally reached my destination I sat down. I had never understood what the four slotted holes were for and whenever someone would plug a light in it would be like sunlight from the wall. Anyway I searched, found and picked up a peice of two inch long wire as thin as a needle. I was extremely bored at this time so I figured I would stick it in. I slowely inserted one side of the wire as slow as a three toed sloth. Then, as careful as a brain surgeon, I inserted the other one in the remaining slot….
POW!!!, all of a sudden there was this big ball of fire that looked like a whole pack of matches lighting at once. I was sort of thrown back but unhurt. Shortly after that all of the room was as dark as an empty gorilla stomach. Well we got everything staightened out and my Dad finally forgave me.
I know that probably sounded strange but it was true. I know you have heard about people sticking things in a lightsocket and their hair sticking up like a porcupine. I just told you about when I stuck something into the lightsocket and as quick as lightning blew all of the lights out
Pretty Good (Teacher’s note)
No date on this but if I had to guess when it was written, I’d say 5th grade. Can you tell the assignment must have been to use as many similes as possible?