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  • Heard in the Dare House

  • Naomi"Mom, isn't the Charleston that dance on that show Fresh Prince...or....?"
  • Pete"We should all act out a Shakespeare play. Maybe Macbeth?"
    Anna "Oh! I want to play MacMeth!"

  • Josh"Owe! I bit my tongue!"
    Mom "That's not part of dinner, dude."
    Josh"I know. That's why I didn't bite it off, Michael Tyson"

  • Dad "Josh, do you know who Mike Tyson bit?"
    Josh"Uuuhh...yeah...like... Leonard Skimmer?"

  • Anna [When we were all talking about love languages, Dad explains how you can change over your life]"Oh yeah, totally. 'Cause I used to be into drawing."
  • Anna [after falling off her bike]"I'm OK! I don't need the arcade kit!"
  • Dad [Getting ready to give a gift to the girls for their piano recital]"Alright girls, we're going to do something that's long overdue."
    Anna "Ha. Probably taxes..."

  • Josh [After reading Peter's sign that said, "DJ takes requests, and tips] "Hey. I have a tip for you. If people don't like the song you're playing, you should change it."
  • Anna "Sometimes I look around and think, I am Anna...and these are other people..."
  • Josh "Listen. You give me the Simon's Quest code and I'll shop in the women's section!"
  • Josh "You smell like an air freshener, Mom."
    Dad "oh Josh those are kind of cheap so that sounds like you’re kind of insulting Mom when you say that."
    Josh "MMMMmmmm…you smell like a $100 air freshener."

  • Anna "Mom. Where’s the first Bible ever. Like ever."
    Mom "Ummm, I’m not sure. But maybe you could ask Dad about that"
    Anna "Well. I was gonna, but I didn’t want to get a whole sermon…so I asked you"

  • Dad "Hmm. These chips taste stale."
    Mom "They're not stale. They're just from Aldi."

  • Naomi "Look Mom! My foot is bigger than Anna's whole face!"
  • Peter [Interrupting Mom quizzing Naomi on Science by asking, "What's inside the membrane of a cell?"] "...Insane?"
  • Anna [Seeing Almonso Wilder grab Laura Ingles' engagement ring from the kitchen on Little House] "Hmph. He just grabbed a chill pill."
  • Josh "Dad, my grammar book must be in labor. It keeps talking about contractions"
  • Josh [After Dad picked a crumb off Josh's shirt]"Dad, you're like a parasite, cleaning me."
  • Anna[Watching Dorothy's friends break her out of the wicked witch's castle]: "Well. That's why you always keep your axe with ya."
  • Josh: "I wonder if there are any tornadoes at the campground we're going to."
    Anna: "Yes. There are. I know. I checked on E-Bay."

  • Mom: "Mmmm, Josh. You smell really good. Are you wearing cologne?"
    Josh: "Wait. My.....Clone Trooper, you mean?"

  • Mom: "I delivered all four of these kids. The least they can do is let me have the rest of the dill pickle potato chips!"
  • Josh: "You're a weak-aholic!"
    Dad: "A weakaholic?!"
    Josh: "Yeah. You're addicted to being weak!"

  • Dad: [After listening to the long piano intro to Chicago's Does anybody really know what time it is?] "I don't like that dissident music. It's all crazy and off time."
    Anna: "I like it! 'Cuz that's how I play!"

  • Paul: "So according to this book kids, who shot JFK?"
    Josh: "Lee Elvis Hardwell?"

  • Paul: "How Many Kings by Downhere is a perfect running song. The beat is just my pace."
    Jen: "Oh yeah? My song is Canon in D."

  • Anna[while washing herself in the shower]: "Hmmmmm. Arms are helpful."
  • Anna [Seeing Mom running water in the kitchen sink]: "Hey! You want to pay bills?!"
    Mom: "Huh?"
    Anna: "You're wasting!"

  • Josh: "Mom, can I play Mario?"
    Mom: "No Josh. Today is craft day. We're doing stuff for someone."
    Josh: "Yeah. I was gonna beat the game for Dad."

  • Anna: [Laying in bed, in a depressed voice]"Naomi, what do I do with life?"
    Naomi: "Uhh...how about you go to sleep?"

  • Mom: "Weird, I've always heard that song differently. But hey, what am I?"
    Anna: "A human being!"

  • Anna: [After being told to eat her dinner]"Mom, I took two bites! You can see the ground!"
  • Josh: "Man, I want to go to a casino."
    Mom: "What?!"
    Josh: "Wait. Is casino the same as gazebo?"

  • Jen to the kids: "Guys, don't forget toppings for your salad. The more colors on your salad, the better it is for you."
    Josh: "Even if it has Superman ice cream on it?!"

  • Anna"Huh? Craig has a list?"
  • Anna"Naomi, can you look at your calendar with your eyes closed?"
    Naomi"No. No one can, silly."
    Anna"Chuck Norris can!!"

  • Mom"Thanks to Naomi, who passed her headache on to me."
    Naomi"Pastor Headache? Who's Pastor Headache?!"

  • Darefamily: “Night, Pete. Night, Naomi. Night, Mom. Night, Dad...”
    Anna: “Night, vision!”

  • Anna: “Dad, do you believe in Santa?”
    Dad: “Sure, St. Nicholas was at the council of Nicea. He punched Arius in the mouth for his heresy…”
    Anna: “Hmmmm…I don’t remember seeing that in the video…”

  • Pete: "Josh, you know what the Pope is, right?"
    Josh: "Yeah. The stuff in the orange juice."

  • Anna: "Yeah! Let's get this starty parted!"
  • Josh"Bummer Mom, you're not ticklish. But I can still hurt you, because your nervous system is working!"
  • Josh"Sorry Grandma, I don't really like antiques...unless they have up to date stuff."
  • Naomi:"I'm not sure what I'm more afraid of, a whale or a shark, 'cuz I know how to fight a shark, 'cuz they're really weak in the eyes..."
  • Why Borders Went Bankrupt

    I love Borders.  I’ve shopped at Borders for years.  I’ve bought books and toys and latte’s there for years.  But without exception, the last few years I’ve always left a Borders store telling anyone who would listen (typically my poor wife or helpless children) how incredibly ridiculous I thought their prices were.  You see, when I say I love Borders what I mean is I love the feel of the Borders store.  When I say I’ve shopped there for years, I mean I’ve bought a few things, only from the bargain or clearance bins.  And when I say I’ve purchased toys there, I mean only on the kid’s birthdays and only if they chose Borders as the store to get their gift at.  The only thing I considered reasonably priced was their lattes and those were never that good either.

    But back to prices.  I’ve been shopping online for over 10 years now, like most people I assume.  So when I go into a Borders and see their prices I absolutely cringe.  Now, I’m not an economics or business moron and I understand that new stuff cost more than used stuff.  And I get that a brick and mortar store front costs more to run than a dusty warehouse where you keep and ship your products from.  But still.  Come on, Borders.  This has got to be at least a small part of why you had to file Chapter 11 this week.  Here are a fewprice examples from my own experience:

    The Irwin Handbook of Telecommunications

    • Borders Price: $129.95
    • Amazon Price: 18cents + 3.99 shipping

    The Gathering Storm (Winston Churchill)

    • Borders Price: $20.00
    • Half.com Price: $1.26 + 3.99 shipping

    The Korean War (Max Hastings)

    • Borders Price: $16.00
    • Half.com Price: $75cents + 3.99 shipping

    Ken Burns: The War (6 DVDs)

    • Borders Price: $86.99
    • Half.com Price: $4.50 + $2.99 shipping

     

     

     

    Need I go on?  I do feel bad for Borders in some regard.  But in another way, I believe that they shot themselves in the foot by keeping their prices non-competitive for so long.

    Is it wrong that I’m waiting for the “Store Closing” sign to be hung up outside the Borders around me?  Meet me there and I’ll buy you a latte.

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    3 Responses

    1. You know, i could go for a latte, so I’ll be there in like 30 mins… you meant the one in Saginaw right?! Also, i think you put this blog entry up just to brag to me about how you got that Ken Burns DVD for under $10…. just sayin.

    2. they also failed to come up with some sort of ebook like Kindle or Nook. I was just at Barns and Noble last night. I love that store, there is something to be said for thumbing through the books and seeing them all stacked together in long rows of mulit-layered shelving. Alas, I still shop at Amazon and Half.com. I can’t help myself, but I still love the idea of a book STORE. Maybe when all the big chains go out of buisness, the mom and pop shops will re-emerge. We will see. Thanks for your great wisdom on such important topics.

      • I couldn’t agree more, Faith! (except with the part about me having wisdom…lol) Love the bookstore. Love the theological library…ever strolled through one of those? I’ll tell Justin to take you to DTS for the next date night! 🙂

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