• Pick a Category

  • Heard in the Dare House

  • Naomi"Mom, isn't the Charleston that dance on that show Fresh Prince...or....?"
  • Pete"We should all act out a Shakespeare play. Maybe Macbeth?"
    Anna "Oh! I want to play MacMeth!"

  • Josh"Owe! I bit my tongue!"
    Mom "That's not part of dinner, dude."
    Josh"I know. That's why I didn't bite it off, Michael Tyson"

  • Dad "Josh, do you know who Mike Tyson bit?"
    Josh"Uuuhh...yeah...like... Leonard Skimmer?"

  • Anna [When we were all talking about love languages, Dad explains how you can change over your life]"Oh yeah, totally. 'Cause I used to be into drawing."
  • Anna [after falling off her bike]"I'm OK! I don't need the arcade kit!"
  • Dad [Getting ready to give a gift to the girls for their piano recital]"Alright girls, we're going to do something that's long overdue."
    Anna "Ha. Probably taxes..."

  • Josh [After reading Peter's sign that said, "DJ takes requests, and tips] "Hey. I have a tip for you. If people don't like the song you're playing, you should change it."
  • Anna "Sometimes I look around and think, I am Anna...and these are other people..."
  • Josh "Listen. You give me the Simon's Quest code and I'll shop in the women's section!"
  • Josh "You smell like an air freshener, Mom."
    Dad "oh Josh those are kind of cheap so that sounds like you’re kind of insulting Mom when you say that."
    Josh "MMMMmmmm…you smell like a $100 air freshener."

  • Anna "Mom. Where’s the first Bible ever. Like ever."
    Mom "Ummm, I’m not sure. But maybe you could ask Dad about that"
    Anna "Well. I was gonna, but I didn’t want to get a whole sermon…so I asked you"

  • Dad "Hmm. These chips taste stale."
    Mom "They're not stale. They're just from Aldi."

  • Naomi "Look Mom! My foot is bigger than Anna's whole face!"
  • Peter [Interrupting Mom quizzing Naomi on Science by asking, "What's inside the membrane of a cell?"] "...Insane?"
  • Anna [Seeing Almonso Wilder grab Laura Ingles' engagement ring from the kitchen on Little House] "Hmph. He just grabbed a chill pill."
  • Josh "Dad, my grammar book must be in labor. It keeps talking about contractions"
  • Josh [After Dad picked a crumb off Josh's shirt]"Dad, you're like a parasite, cleaning me."
  • Anna[Watching Dorothy's friends break her out of the wicked witch's castle]: "Well. That's why you always keep your axe with ya."
  • Josh: "I wonder if there are any tornadoes at the campground we're going to."
    Anna: "Yes. There are. I know. I checked on E-Bay."

  • Mom: "Mmmm, Josh. You smell really good. Are you wearing cologne?"
    Josh: "Wait. My.....Clone Trooper, you mean?"

  • Mom: "I delivered all four of these kids. The least they can do is let me have the rest of the dill pickle potato chips!"
  • Josh: "You're a weak-aholic!"
    Dad: "A weakaholic?!"
    Josh: "Yeah. You're addicted to being weak!"

  • Dad: [After listening to the long piano intro to Chicago's Does anybody really know what time it is?] "I don't like that dissident music. It's all crazy and off time."
    Anna: "I like it! 'Cuz that's how I play!"

  • Paul: "So according to this book kids, who shot JFK?"
    Josh: "Lee Elvis Hardwell?"

  • Paul: "How Many Kings by Downhere is a perfect running song. The beat is just my pace."
    Jen: "Oh yeah? My song is Canon in D."

  • Anna[while washing herself in the shower]: "Hmmmmm. Arms are helpful."
  • Anna [Seeing Mom running water in the kitchen sink]: "Hey! You want to pay bills?!"
    Mom: "Huh?"
    Anna: "You're wasting!"

  • Josh: "Mom, can I play Mario?"
    Mom: "No Josh. Today is craft day. We're doing stuff for someone."
    Josh: "Yeah. I was gonna beat the game for Dad."

  • Anna: [Laying in bed, in a depressed voice]"Naomi, what do I do with life?"
    Naomi: "Uhh...how about you go to sleep?"

  • Mom: "Weird, I've always heard that song differently. But hey, what am I?"
    Anna: "A human being!"

  • Anna: [After being told to eat her dinner]"Mom, I took two bites! You can see the ground!"
  • Josh: "Man, I want to go to a casino."
    Mom: "What?!"
    Josh: "Wait. Is casino the same as gazebo?"

  • Jen to the kids: "Guys, don't forget toppings for your salad. The more colors on your salad, the better it is for you."
    Josh: "Even if it has Superman ice cream on it?!"

  • Anna"Huh? Craig has a list?"
  • Anna"Naomi, can you look at your calendar with your eyes closed?"
    Naomi"No. No one can, silly."
    Anna"Chuck Norris can!!"

  • Mom"Thanks to Naomi, who passed her headache on to me."
    Naomi"Pastor Headache? Who's Pastor Headache?!"

  • Darefamily: “Night, Pete. Night, Naomi. Night, Mom. Night, Dad...”
    Anna: “Night, vision!”

  • Anna: “Dad, do you believe in Santa?”
    Dad: “Sure, St. Nicholas was at the council of Nicea. He punched Arius in the mouth for his heresy…”
    Anna: “Hmmmm…I don’t remember seeing that in the video…”

  • Pete: "Josh, you know what the Pope is, right?"
    Josh: "Yeah. The stuff in the orange juice."

  • Anna: "Yeah! Let's get this starty parted!"
  • Josh"Bummer Mom, you're not ticklish. But I can still hurt you, because your nervous system is working!"
  • Josh"Sorry Grandma, I don't really like antiques...unless they have up to date stuff."
  • Naomi:"I'm not sure what I'm more afraid of, a whale or a shark, 'cuz I know how to fight a shark, 'cuz they're really weak in the eyes..."
  • The Family Name in the Civil War

    We found the following story in this book:

    On March 25, 1865, Private D. W. Dare of the 10th Vermont Infantry, Company H found himself on picker duty in front of Petersubrg.  The “picket-line was composed of about 160 men of the Fourteenth New Jersey on the right and 230 of the Tenth Vermont on the left, the whole line being nearly one mile in length, with open ground on the right half, while the left portion of the line was immediately in rear of a narrow belt of woods.  The picket-line of the enemy was strongly entrenched behind earth-works and as an average distance of 300 yards.”

    While on duty, Private Dare had a surprise visit from his tent mate, Private Joe Smith, who was upset and ventured out to the picket line to talk.  During their conversation, Joe revealed a disturbing dream he had earlier that morning.  The following story is Private Dare’s rendition of his friend’s dream.

    While encamped in front of Petersburg we lay near Fort Fisher.  I had three tent mates, Sergt. E. T. Johnson, Joseph A. Smith, and John Smith.  John Smith was a quiet Irish man, with dry, humorous wit, the trio making a very pleasant set of mates, and many evenings have we passed in soldier life in pleasant converse together.  Joseph had been home on a sick furlough, and while in hospital he became acquainted with a young lady, and perhaps was engaged when he returned to the front, which was but a few days previous to what I am about to relate.

    On the morning of the 25th of March, ’65 our regiment, the 10th Vt., were detailed for picket.  We had been on the picket line but a short time when Joe Smith came to me and said he had a dream that troubled him, and wished to relate it; so we sat down and he said he dreamed we were going to advance the picket line; we should have a hard fight, and that he and John would be killed, but I should get through safe.  I laughed at him and told him there  was no indication of an engagement, and he must not trouble himself about dreams, but he continued and said he wanted I should pack his things and send them home, designating the disposition of articles, particularly a ring he wore.

    While talking, what should we see but Colonel (George)Damon coming through the main line on horseback, towards our line.  Says Joe, “There, Dan, that is just what I dreamed.”  The colonel came down and told us we must take the rebel picket line in our front, but go no further; to pack up carefully so the rebs would not see us, and at a signal from Fort Fisher, charge the line.  Joe was quite sad and told me to keep near him.  We got the order to go, and started through an open field, had not gone more than twenty – five rods before the rebs opened on us and [with] the first volley Joe fell, shot through the groin, severing the main artery.  As I seized him the blood spurted all over me, and I could not stop it, the ball passing clear through him producing a wound that must soon end in death.  He lingered a short time with his head resting in my arms, telling me to be sure to send his effects…

    It goes on but you get the idea.  Perhaps Private Dare is a distant relative.  I know, in my very minimal genealogy work, there are a multitude of Dare’s in New England, mostly in New Jersey.  Maybe I’ll bounce this story off some of them and see if there’s a connection.

    -paul

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