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  • Heard in the Dare House

  • Naomi"Mom, isn't the Charleston that dance on that show Fresh Prince...or....?"
  • Pete"We should all act out a Shakespeare play. Maybe Macbeth?"
    Anna "Oh! I want to play MacMeth!"

  • Josh"Owe! I bit my tongue!"
    Mom "That's not part of dinner, dude."
    Josh"I know. That's why I didn't bite it off, Michael Tyson"

  • Dad "Josh, do you know who Mike Tyson bit?"
    Josh"Uuuhh...yeah...like... Leonard Skimmer?"

  • Anna [When we were all talking about love languages, Dad explains how you can change over your life]"Oh yeah, totally. 'Cause I used to be into drawing."
  • Anna [after falling off her bike]"I'm OK! I don't need the arcade kit!"
  • Dad [Getting ready to give a gift to the girls for their piano recital]"Alright girls, we're going to do something that's long overdue."
    Anna "Ha. Probably taxes..."

  • Josh [After reading Peter's sign that said, "DJ takes requests, and tips] "Hey. I have a tip for you. If people don't like the song you're playing, you should change it."
  • Anna "Sometimes I look around and think, I am Anna...and these are other people..."
  • Josh "Listen. You give me the Simon's Quest code and I'll shop in the women's section!"
  • Josh "You smell like an air freshener, Mom."
    Dad "oh Josh those are kind of cheap so that sounds like you’re kind of insulting Mom when you say that."
    Josh "MMMMmmmm…you smell like a $100 air freshener."

  • Anna "Mom. Where’s the first Bible ever. Like ever."
    Mom "Ummm, I’m not sure. But maybe you could ask Dad about that"
    Anna "Well. I was gonna, but I didn’t want to get a whole sermon…so I asked you"

  • Dad "Hmm. These chips taste stale."
    Mom "They're not stale. They're just from Aldi."

  • Naomi "Look Mom! My foot is bigger than Anna's whole face!"
  • Peter [Interrupting Mom quizzing Naomi on Science by asking, "What's inside the membrane of a cell?"] "...Insane?"
  • Anna [Seeing Almonso Wilder grab Laura Ingles' engagement ring from the kitchen on Little House] "Hmph. He just grabbed a chill pill."
  • Josh "Dad, my grammar book must be in labor. It keeps talking about contractions"
  • Josh [After Dad picked a crumb off Josh's shirt]"Dad, you're like a parasite, cleaning me."
  • Anna[Watching Dorothy's friends break her out of the wicked witch's castle]: "Well. That's why you always keep your axe with ya."
  • Josh: "I wonder if there are any tornadoes at the campground we're going to."
    Anna: "Yes. There are. I know. I checked on E-Bay."

  • Mom: "Mmmm, Josh. You smell really good. Are you wearing cologne?"
    Josh: "Wait. My.....Clone Trooper, you mean?"

  • Mom: "I delivered all four of these kids. The least they can do is let me have the rest of the dill pickle potato chips!"
  • Josh: "You're a weak-aholic!"
    Dad: "A weakaholic?!"
    Josh: "Yeah. You're addicted to being weak!"

  • Dad: [After listening to the long piano intro to Chicago's Does anybody really know what time it is?] "I don't like that dissident music. It's all crazy and off time."
    Anna: "I like it! 'Cuz that's how I play!"

  • Paul: "So according to this book kids, who shot JFK?"
    Josh: "Lee Elvis Hardwell?"

  • Paul: "How Many Kings by Downhere is a perfect running song. The beat is just my pace."
    Jen: "Oh yeah? My song is Canon in D."

  • Anna[while washing herself in the shower]: "Hmmmmm. Arms are helpful."
  • Anna [Seeing Mom running water in the kitchen sink]: "Hey! You want to pay bills?!"
    Mom: "Huh?"
    Anna: "You're wasting!"

  • Josh: "Mom, can I play Mario?"
    Mom: "No Josh. Today is craft day. We're doing stuff for someone."
    Josh: "Yeah. I was gonna beat the game for Dad."

  • Anna: [Laying in bed, in a depressed voice]"Naomi, what do I do with life?"
    Naomi: "Uhh...how about you go to sleep?"

  • Mom: "Weird, I've always heard that song differently. But hey, what am I?"
    Anna: "A human being!"

  • Anna: [After being told to eat her dinner]"Mom, I took two bites! You can see the ground!"
  • Josh: "Man, I want to go to a casino."
    Mom: "What?!"
    Josh: "Wait. Is casino the same as gazebo?"

  • Jen to the kids: "Guys, don't forget toppings for your salad. The more colors on your salad, the better it is for you."
    Josh: "Even if it has Superman ice cream on it?!"

  • Anna"Huh? Craig has a list?"
  • Anna"Naomi, can you look at your calendar with your eyes closed?"
    Naomi"No. No one can, silly."
    Anna"Chuck Norris can!!"

  • Mom"Thanks to Naomi, who passed her headache on to me."
    Naomi"Pastor Headache? Who's Pastor Headache?!"

  • Darefamily: “Night, Pete. Night, Naomi. Night, Mom. Night, Dad...”
    Anna: “Night, vision!”

  • Anna: “Dad, do you believe in Santa?”
    Dad: “Sure, St. Nicholas was at the council of Nicea. He punched Arius in the mouth for his heresy…”
    Anna: “Hmmmm…I don’t remember seeing that in the video…”

  • Pete: "Josh, you know what the Pope is, right?"
    Josh: "Yeah. The stuff in the orange juice."

  • Anna: "Yeah! Let's get this starty parted!"
  • Josh"Bummer Mom, you're not ticklish. But I can still hurt you, because your nervous system is working!"
  • Josh"Sorry Grandma, I don't really like antiques...unless they have up to date stuff."
  • Naomi:"I'm not sure what I'm more afraid of, a whale or a shark, 'cuz I know how to fight a shark, 'cuz they're really weak in the eyes..."
  • Bucket of Weeds

    i have done ZERO yardwork this summer.  it shows.  my garden out back is awful looking and the weeds in the front ‘landscaping’ have taken over.  so i did what any reasonable person would do in the middle of a heatwave,…i went out to pull weeds on the hottest forecasted day thus far…

    as i was pulling, the Lord brought an old analogy to me.  pulling weeds is like removing sin in our lives.

    i looked over this little garden and saw so many little weeds starting to push up.  i saw quite a few tall and wide ones as well.  it was a bit overwhelming and so i think that is why i have been avoiding it.  if that isn’t a picture of me spiritually, i don’t know what is.

    i decided that it would be best to pull the biggest ones first.  i had a bucket that i put them in and it was full almost immediately.  i started thinking about sin and the Christian.  we all have our ‘weeds’ that are in our lives.  the big weeds i pulled were obvious weeds.  just like some ‘big’ sins are obvious.  i realized that as i pulled the big ones out, the smaller ones were a bit easier to see and identify as weeds.  wow, just like sin.

    i also realized that if this job was going to be finished before it got to the predicted 100 degrees, i needed to have some good tools.  we have this great tool that helps pull the pokey weeds so you don’t bleed.  its great!  isn’t scripture our best tool for pulling weeds?!!?

    for instance,  the bible is clear in Colossians 3:9 “Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices”.  if i find myself lying, i need to repent and ‘pull that weed’ before it takes root.  if i do not, then i can get myself into quite a jungle of weeds and cannot see a smaller ‘weed’ of discontent or jealousy.

    i am not saying that there is a scale of sin.  i am just thinking about how we need to know what the bible says to get at the ROOT of the weeds and not just crop them off at ground level.  when we do that, those weeds just come up bigger and stronger the next time!  (i know, i pulled a mini-tree out this morning!)

    the other thing that helped me finish this job was motivation.  what better motivation than knowing how hot and humid it was going to be!  i worked fast and thorough.  i wanted it done right but i wanted it done FAST!  God’s Glory should be the Believer’s biggest motivation.  1 Corinthians 10:31 says “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. ”  so many applications here!  the main thing i take from that in this situation  is that our ‘soil’ is better when we pull ‘weeds’ of sin out…just like a real garden.  we will be more soft and ready for good seeds of holiness to be planted in us!

    so what do you have in your bucket?  do you have some glaring sins you need to repent of and make right before the Lord?  i encourage you to get into the Bible and see what God says.  He makes it pretty clear in many cases what we are to ‘weed out’ of our lives!

    ~jen

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    One Response

    1. wow. good stuff, honey. I had the same thoughts last weekend, pulling weeds with the boys. Can you teach my SS class next weekend, please?

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