• Pick a Category

  • Heard in the Dare House

  • Naomi"Mom, isn't the Charleston that dance on that show Fresh Prince...or....?"
  • Pete"We should all act out a Shakespeare play. Maybe Macbeth?"
    Anna "Oh! I want to play MacMeth!"

  • Josh"Owe! I bit my tongue!"
    Mom "That's not part of dinner, dude."
    Josh"I know. That's why I didn't bite it off, Michael Tyson"

  • Dad "Josh, do you know who Mike Tyson bit?"
    Josh"Uuuhh...yeah...like... Leonard Skimmer?"

  • Anna [When we were all talking about love languages, Dad explains how you can change over your life]"Oh yeah, totally. 'Cause I used to be into drawing."
  • Anna [after falling off her bike]"I'm OK! I don't need the arcade kit!"
  • Dad [Getting ready to give a gift to the girls for their piano recital]"Alright girls, we're going to do something that's long overdue."
    Anna "Ha. Probably taxes..."

  • Josh [After reading Peter's sign that said, "DJ takes requests, and tips] "Hey. I have a tip for you. If people don't like the song you're playing, you should change it."
  • Anna "Sometimes I look around and think, I am Anna...and these are other people..."
  • Josh "Listen. You give me the Simon's Quest code and I'll shop in the women's section!"
  • Josh "You smell like an air freshener, Mom."
    Dad "oh Josh those are kind of cheap so that sounds like you’re kind of insulting Mom when you say that."
    Josh "MMMMmmmm…you smell like a $100 air freshener."

  • Anna "Mom. Where’s the first Bible ever. Like ever."
    Mom "Ummm, I’m not sure. But maybe you could ask Dad about that"
    Anna "Well. I was gonna, but I didn’t want to get a whole sermon…so I asked you"

  • Dad "Hmm. These chips taste stale."
    Mom "They're not stale. They're just from Aldi."

  • Naomi "Look Mom! My foot is bigger than Anna's whole face!"
  • Peter [Interrupting Mom quizzing Naomi on Science by asking, "What's inside the membrane of a cell?"] "...Insane?"
  • Anna [Seeing Almonso Wilder grab Laura Ingles' engagement ring from the kitchen on Little House] "Hmph. He just grabbed a chill pill."
  • Josh "Dad, my grammar book must be in labor. It keeps talking about contractions"
  • Josh [After Dad picked a crumb off Josh's shirt]"Dad, you're like a parasite, cleaning me."
  • Anna[Watching Dorothy's friends break her out of the wicked witch's castle]: "Well. That's why you always keep your axe with ya."
  • Josh: "I wonder if there are any tornadoes at the campground we're going to."
    Anna: "Yes. There are. I know. I checked on E-Bay."

  • Mom: "Mmmm, Josh. You smell really good. Are you wearing cologne?"
    Josh: "Wait. My.....Clone Trooper, you mean?"

  • Mom: "I delivered all four of these kids. The least they can do is let me have the rest of the dill pickle potato chips!"
  • Josh: "You're a weak-aholic!"
    Dad: "A weakaholic?!"
    Josh: "Yeah. You're addicted to being weak!"

  • Dad: [After listening to the long piano intro to Chicago's Does anybody really know what time it is?] "I don't like that dissident music. It's all crazy and off time."
    Anna: "I like it! 'Cuz that's how I play!"

  • Paul: "So according to this book kids, who shot JFK?"
    Josh: "Lee Elvis Hardwell?"

  • Paul: "How Many Kings by Downhere is a perfect running song. The beat is just my pace."
    Jen: "Oh yeah? My song is Canon in D."

  • Anna[while washing herself in the shower]: "Hmmmmm. Arms are helpful."
  • Anna [Seeing Mom running water in the kitchen sink]: "Hey! You want to pay bills?!"
    Mom: "Huh?"
    Anna: "You're wasting!"

  • Josh: "Mom, can I play Mario?"
    Mom: "No Josh. Today is craft day. We're doing stuff for someone."
    Josh: "Yeah. I was gonna beat the game for Dad."

  • Anna: [Laying in bed, in a depressed voice]"Naomi, what do I do with life?"
    Naomi: "Uhh...how about you go to sleep?"

  • Mom: "Weird, I've always heard that song differently. But hey, what am I?"
    Anna: "A human being!"

  • Anna: [After being told to eat her dinner]"Mom, I took two bites! You can see the ground!"
  • Josh: "Man, I want to go to a casino."
    Mom: "What?!"
    Josh: "Wait. Is casino the same as gazebo?"

  • Jen to the kids: "Guys, don't forget toppings for your salad. The more colors on your salad, the better it is for you."
    Josh: "Even if it has Superman ice cream on it?!"

  • Anna"Huh? Craig has a list?"
  • Anna"Naomi, can you look at your calendar with your eyes closed?"
    Naomi"No. No one can, silly."
    Anna"Chuck Norris can!!"

  • Mom"Thanks to Naomi, who passed her headache on to me."
    Naomi"Pastor Headache? Who's Pastor Headache?!"

  • Darefamily: “Night, Pete. Night, Naomi. Night, Mom. Night, Dad...”
    Anna: “Night, vision!”

  • Anna: “Dad, do you believe in Santa?”
    Dad: “Sure, St. Nicholas was at the council of Nicea. He punched Arius in the mouth for his heresy…”
    Anna: “Hmmmm…I don’t remember seeing that in the video…”

  • Pete: "Josh, you know what the Pope is, right?"
    Josh: "Yeah. The stuff in the orange juice."

  • Anna: "Yeah! Let's get this starty parted!"
  • Josh"Bummer Mom, you're not ticklish. But I can still hurt you, because your nervous system is working!"
  • Josh"Sorry Grandma, I don't really like antiques...unless they have up to date stuff."
  • Naomi:"I'm not sure what I'm more afraid of, a whale or a shark, 'cuz I know how to fight a shark, 'cuz they're really weak in the eyes..."
  • Honoring your Parents into your Adult Life

    I’ve been reading a few good books on the family lately and especially been thinking about the Biblical concept of children honoring their parents.  I’m now 36 years old and a parent of four children so my thoughts primarily focus on teaching and training my own children to honor their mother and me and capitalize on this incubation time in the home to learn all they can about how to be a responsible, godly and mature young man or woman for the day they are launched out into this crazy world.

    But, I also think about what the command, “…honor your father and mother” mean for me, a 36 year old married father living 45 or more from my parents.  Is this command still relevant in my current circumstances?  I think it is.  I think the key to truly understanding this command is by holding it up next to another passage of Scripture.  This one:

    Deuteronomy 6:1-3 ESV–>

    1″Now this is the commandment, the statutes and the rules[a] that the LORD your God commanded me to teach you, that you may do them in the land to which you are going over, to possess it, 2 that you may fear the LORD your God, you and your son and your son’s son, by keeping all his statutes and his commandments, which I command you, all the days of your life, and that your days may be long. 3 Hear therefore, O Israel, and be careful to do them, that it may go well with you, and that you may multiply greatly, as the LORD, the God of your fathers, has promised you, in a land flowing with milk and honey.

    Did you catch verse 2?  I obnoxiously highlighted it for you.  How long are we to obey the commands in Deut 5?  Just until we leave home?  Just until we’re married and have a family of our own?

    No.  All the days of our life.

    Think about it.  Did murder become acceptable once the young Israelite left home?  Did lying, stealing or coveting become things left to personal lifestyle choice to the Israelite girl who was now married and raising her own family?  of course not.  So why do we think that honoring our parents somehow changes once we leave home and are no longer under our Mother and Father’s rule and protection?  It shouldn’t be this way.

    Notice, I’m not saying we are bound to agree with or obey everything our parents say once we are adults.  Heavens no.  Good parents would even tell their children, “don’t think exactly like me!  Don’t do everything I do.  Think for yourself.  Go do better than I did!”.  What I’m talking about here, what Moses was talking about is honor.

    Honoring your parents looks like this:

    • You don’t say everything you’re thinking in every conversation with your parents (trust me, your parents haven’t said everything they were thinking in conversations with you for years!)
    • When you do talk, you absolutely never use a tone in your voice that even hints at any disrespect toward your parents.  You are an adult, act like one.  Children whine, children use sarcasm.  Adults do not.
    • When you disagree with your parent(s), you don’t interrupt them, use inflammatory words like “…you always!” or “you never!”.  Basically, you don’t argue with them like you’re still a teenage.  it wasn’t right then, it’s not right now.
    • When you have conflict, you do not go to a third party who will commiserate with you and allow you to dishonor or talk disrespectful about your parent(s).  You go to your parent(s) and you graciously, with much restraint and humility, work to confront the conflict and correctly resolve it.
    • You do not mock your parents, tear them down or take lightly the mistakes they may have made over the years.  A bit of light-hearted and (to borrow my oldest son’s favorite phrase) playful banter in your parent’s presence is OK, but be careful and don’t do it behind their back.  The slope is just too slippery.

    Why am I so concerned about this?  Sure, I can understand how important it is for little kids to honor, respect and obey their parents, but is this really that critical when it comes to  adult children and their adult parents?  I think it’s absolutely crucial and will affect all other aspects of your life if you ignore your responsibility to honor Mom and Dad all the days of your life.

    Having issues with Mom and Dad?  Are you honoring them when you talk to them?  Having trouble really communicating?  What’s your attitude toward them when you try to communicate?  Having difficulty resolving conflict with a parent?  Look back and see if how your approach to the situation could be characterized as honorable, by an objective outside third party observer.  Did you go in with guns a blazing?  Did you begin conversations already annoyed and ready to push your viewpoint upon them?  Or are you approaching with a fearful (as in respectful, not a paralyzing terror) and humble spirit as you strive to honor your parents, no matter what the issue is?  Are you beating back the temptations to lash out, no matter how wrong your parents may or may not be in a certain situation?  Are you biting (sometimes literally if you have to) your tongue and not saying everything you are thinking or may want to say?  And finally, are you avoiding the temptation to pick up the phone and start calling or texting someone else you can “vent” to about how mad or annoyed or frustrated your parents make you?

    Put down the phone, calm down, open your Bible, bow your head in prayer.  Seek godly counsel from your spouse or Pastor.  Don’t go air your dirty laundry to a “friend” who’s best advice is, “yeah, I know!  Don’t you hate that!”

    I alluded to this already but I’ll elaborate here.  Any attempt to navigate the intricacies of life (school, work, marriage, children, etc) while dishonoring your parents along the way and into your adult years is going to put a drag on most everything you do.  I don’t say this simply to inform you, I say this to warn you.  Everything is going to be difficult if this most foundational relationship continues to be dysfunctional as you move through life.  You can’t make it if you haven’t decided to honor your parents.

    Though I have literally failed countless times at this (and I don’t say that as false humility), I have also experienced tremendous blessing when I have done well to honor my parents, as have countless others.  Many have even testified that once they made a change in their attitude and actions toward their parents, countless other issues in their lives worked themselves out.  But, personal testimonies don’t carry the day.  God’s objective truth does.  We should honor our parents because God said we should.  He promises that it will go well with us if we do so.  This is surely no promise of complete ease, comfort, perfect health or growing wealth in this world.  This is a promise of a peace that the world knows nothing of.  A peace that truly surpasses all understanding.

    Honor your parents.  Start now and continue for all the days of your life.

    -paul

    ——————-

    Warren Baldwin has some great thoughts on this topic as well at his blog HERE .

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    2 Responses

    1. Reblogged this on All Thyngs and commented:

      Was looking for something else and found this post over on our family blog…

    2. Paul, a very solid biblical and practical post. I think you are so right that even as adults we must still honor our parents, even when it may be hard to do! But, we are still expected by God to do that. The good thing is, if our kids see us honoring our parents, they will be more inclined to honor us in their old age.

      Also, thank you for plugging my article.

      Warren

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