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  • Heard in the Dare House

  • Naomi"Mom, isn't the Charleston that dance on that show Fresh Prince...or....?"
  • Pete"We should all act out a Shakespeare play. Maybe Macbeth?"
    Anna "Oh! I want to play MacMeth!"

  • Josh"Owe! I bit my tongue!"
    Mom "That's not part of dinner, dude."
    Josh"I know. That's why I didn't bite it off, Michael Tyson"

  • Dad "Josh, do you know who Mike Tyson bit?"
    Josh"Uuuhh...yeah...like... Leonard Skimmer?"

  • Anna [When we were all talking about love languages, Dad explains how you can change over your life]"Oh yeah, totally. 'Cause I used to be into drawing."
  • Anna [after falling off her bike]"I'm OK! I don't need the arcade kit!"
  • Dad [Getting ready to give a gift to the girls for their piano recital]"Alright girls, we're going to do something that's long overdue."
    Anna "Ha. Probably taxes..."

  • Josh [After reading Peter's sign that said, "DJ takes requests, and tips] "Hey. I have a tip for you. If people don't like the song you're playing, you should change it."
  • Anna "Sometimes I look around and think, I am Anna...and these are other people..."
  • Josh "Listen. You give me the Simon's Quest code and I'll shop in the women's section!"
  • Josh "You smell like an air freshener, Mom."
    Dad "oh Josh those are kind of cheap so that sounds like you’re kind of insulting Mom when you say that."
    Josh "MMMMmmmm…you smell like a $100 air freshener."

  • Anna "Mom. Where’s the first Bible ever. Like ever."
    Mom "Ummm, I’m not sure. But maybe you could ask Dad about that"
    Anna "Well. I was gonna, but I didn’t want to get a whole sermon…so I asked you"

  • Dad "Hmm. These chips taste stale."
    Mom "They're not stale. They're just from Aldi."

  • Naomi "Look Mom! My foot is bigger than Anna's whole face!"
  • Peter [Interrupting Mom quizzing Naomi on Science by asking, "What's inside the membrane of a cell?"] "...Insane?"
  • Anna [Seeing Almonso Wilder grab Laura Ingles' engagement ring from the kitchen on Little House] "Hmph. He just grabbed a chill pill."
  • Josh "Dad, my grammar book must be in labor. It keeps talking about contractions"
  • Josh [After Dad picked a crumb off Josh's shirt]"Dad, you're like a parasite, cleaning me."
  • Anna[Watching Dorothy's friends break her out of the wicked witch's castle]: "Well. That's why you always keep your axe with ya."
  • Josh: "I wonder if there are any tornadoes at the campground we're going to."
    Anna: "Yes. There are. I know. I checked on E-Bay."

  • Mom: "Mmmm, Josh. You smell really good. Are you wearing cologne?"
    Josh: "Wait. My.....Clone Trooper, you mean?"

  • Mom: "I delivered all four of these kids. The least they can do is let me have the rest of the dill pickle potato chips!"
  • Josh: "You're a weak-aholic!"
    Dad: "A weakaholic?!"
    Josh: "Yeah. You're addicted to being weak!"

  • Dad: [After listening to the long piano intro to Chicago's Does anybody really know what time it is?] "I don't like that dissident music. It's all crazy and off time."
    Anna: "I like it! 'Cuz that's how I play!"

  • Paul: "So according to this book kids, who shot JFK?"
    Josh: "Lee Elvis Hardwell?"

  • Paul: "How Many Kings by Downhere is a perfect running song. The beat is just my pace."
    Jen: "Oh yeah? My song is Canon in D."

  • Anna[while washing herself in the shower]: "Hmmmmm. Arms are helpful."
  • Anna [Seeing Mom running water in the kitchen sink]: "Hey! You want to pay bills?!"
    Mom: "Huh?"
    Anna: "You're wasting!"

  • Josh: "Mom, can I play Mario?"
    Mom: "No Josh. Today is craft day. We're doing stuff for someone."
    Josh: "Yeah. I was gonna beat the game for Dad."

  • Anna: [Laying in bed, in a depressed voice]"Naomi, what do I do with life?"
    Naomi: "Uhh...how about you go to sleep?"

  • Mom: "Weird, I've always heard that song differently. But hey, what am I?"
    Anna: "A human being!"

  • Anna: [After being told to eat her dinner]"Mom, I took two bites! You can see the ground!"
  • Josh: "Man, I want to go to a casino."
    Mom: "What?!"
    Josh: "Wait. Is casino the same as gazebo?"

  • Jen to the kids: "Guys, don't forget toppings for your salad. The more colors on your salad, the better it is for you."
    Josh: "Even if it has Superman ice cream on it?!"

  • Anna"Huh? Craig has a list?"
  • Anna"Naomi, can you look at your calendar with your eyes closed?"
    Naomi"No. No one can, silly."
    Anna"Chuck Norris can!!"

  • Mom"Thanks to Naomi, who passed her headache on to me."
    Naomi"Pastor Headache? Who's Pastor Headache?!"

  • Darefamily: “Night, Pete. Night, Naomi. Night, Mom. Night, Dad...”
    Anna: “Night, vision!”

  • Anna: “Dad, do you believe in Santa?”
    Dad: “Sure, St. Nicholas was at the council of Nicea. He punched Arius in the mouth for his heresy…”
    Anna: “Hmmmm…I don’t remember seeing that in the video…”

  • Pete: "Josh, you know what the Pope is, right?"
    Josh: "Yeah. The stuff in the orange juice."

  • Anna: "Yeah! Let's get this starty parted!"
  • Josh"Bummer Mom, you're not ticklish. But I can still hurt you, because your nervous system is working!"
  • Josh"Sorry Grandma, I don't really like antiques...unless they have up to date stuff."
  • Naomi:"I'm not sure what I'm more afraid of, a whale or a shark, 'cuz I know how to fight a shark, 'cuz they're really weak in the eyes..."
  • Give Blood – Give “Double Reds” if you can

    So yesterday I went in to give blood at my scheduled appoint time of 11:15.  When they realized that I was type O-, healthy as a horse and they had some open slots, they asked me if I would be interested in donating two units of blood and having my plasma and platelets returned to me around 1pm.  After some price negotiating, return policy discussions and signed contracts in triplicate, I agreed.  🙂

    I used to donate plasma when I was in the military and would actually get paid for each donation.  After feeling dirty after my third or fourth time (given the other people that were donating and the area of town the donation center was located) I quit doing that.  I guess ‘double reds‘ is different.  They take two units of blood and then return the plasma and platelets as opposed to taking plasma and returning the rest.  I would highly recommend doing this, if you are eligible and haven’t tried it before.  It takes a bit longer (about 45minutes) but here are the things I learned from talking to the nurse who stuck me yesterday –

    1.  Giving blood is extremely healthy for men to do!  Men have high iron in their blood (depending on what we’re eating, of course) and bleeding is a great way to get rid of excess iron and it actually lower your risk of heart attack as too much iron is bad for your most important muscle – your heart!

    2.  Double-Reds gets rid of more blood as you are giving two units instead of just one – so you are really purging that extra iron, men!

    3.  Giving two units actually helps the future receiving patient you are helping (or saving!) when they receive your blood.  The nurse told me that when a patient is given someone’s blood, there is always a risk of their body reacting negatively.  Some recipients can start to react but not quite reject the first unit of blood so having a second unit from the same donor can help stabilize the patient as their body ‘recognizes’ the blood as familiar.

    4.  You can’t donate as frequently as your eligibility time doubles when you give double-reds.  With a normal blood donation, you can give every 8 weeks.  When you give a double unit, you can’t give again until 16 weeks.  This (if you lead a busy life like most of us) is pretty convenient.  The mobile donation team comes to my office here at work, so it’s uber convenient, but even then I sometimes can’t make it downstairs to donate so spreading out my donations makes it easier to plan around my appointments if there are less in the year.  I know I sound like a selfish American here.  Sorry.

    5.  You aren’t as dehydrated after your donation.  Because they return your platelets, plasma and saline, you walk away sometimes more hydrated than when you came in!  I was running to the restroom all day yesterday.  I was still pretty tired for the rest of the day and even dozed off watching The West Wing with my wonderful wife last night.  But I wasn’t depleted of fluids like I usually am with a normal donation.

    6. It’s a great, simple, relatively painless way to love your neighbor.  As a Christian I’m commanded, called and empowered to make my love for my neighbor grow more and more.  Donating blood, single or double units, is very simple way to do just that.  I was laying there yesterday, reading Benjamin Franklin’s autobiography on my new Kindle Touch, thinking, “How great is this?!  How easy!  We have it so good in this country!  So many of us are healthy enough donate and help our fellow human beings!  I get to lay here and with virtually no effort, actually do something helpful!”

    7.  It’s just way cool.  OK, this reason is more for the geeky (like me) friends who are reading this.  Think of the technology!  A powered machine about the size of a microwave oven, with pumps, circuits, tubes, motors designed to take blood from a human, spin it just right so that the blood separates, filter out what it needs and then returns the other elements back to the same human!  It’s overwhelming to consider how many people perished because of blood loss before we had these machines. I know technology is not a savior and we will never be able to completely eradicate the loss of human life, but this technology is just fascinating to me!

    There is a risk.  Once they take the first pint, the machine then starts to return the unneeded items and if the needle is not in your vain good, it could pop out and will sting a bit.  Your arm is not going to fall off.  You just notify the nurse, she comes over and fixes it.  So a bit of pain (potentially) for a huge gain.  Don’t let it scare you.

    If you’ve given double-reds, I would love to hear your story or the thoughts you have on the process or the experience.  Good or bad.

    -paul

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