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  • Heard in the Dare House

  • Naomi"Mom, isn't the Charleston that dance on that show Fresh Prince...or....?"
  • Pete"We should all act out a Shakespeare play. Maybe Macbeth?"
    Anna "Oh! I want to play MacMeth!"

  • Josh"Owe! I bit my tongue!"
    Mom "That's not part of dinner, dude."
    Josh"I know. That's why I didn't bite it off, Michael Tyson"

  • Dad "Josh, do you know who Mike Tyson bit?"
    Josh"Uuuhh...yeah...like... Leonard Skimmer?"

  • Anna [When we were all talking about love languages, Dad explains how you can change over your life]"Oh yeah, totally. 'Cause I used to be into drawing."
  • Anna [after falling off her bike]"I'm OK! I don't need the arcade kit!"
  • Dad [Getting ready to give a gift to the girls for their piano recital]"Alright girls, we're going to do something that's long overdue."
    Anna "Ha. Probably taxes..."

  • Josh [After reading Peter's sign that said, "DJ takes requests, and tips] "Hey. I have a tip for you. If people don't like the song you're playing, you should change it."
  • Anna "Sometimes I look around and think, I am Anna...and these are other people..."
  • Josh "Listen. You give me the Simon's Quest code and I'll shop in the women's section!"
  • Josh "You smell like an air freshener, Mom."
    Dad "oh Josh those are kind of cheap so that sounds like you’re kind of insulting Mom when you say that."
    Josh "MMMMmmmm…you smell like a $100 air freshener."

  • Anna "Mom. Where’s the first Bible ever. Like ever."
    Mom "Ummm, I’m not sure. But maybe you could ask Dad about that"
    Anna "Well. I was gonna, but I didn’t want to get a whole sermon…so I asked you"

  • Dad "Hmm. These chips taste stale."
    Mom "They're not stale. They're just from Aldi."

  • Naomi "Look Mom! My foot is bigger than Anna's whole face!"
  • Peter [Interrupting Mom quizzing Naomi on Science by asking, "What's inside the membrane of a cell?"] "...Insane?"
  • Anna [Seeing Almonso Wilder grab Laura Ingles' engagement ring from the kitchen on Little House] "Hmph. He just grabbed a chill pill."
  • Josh "Dad, my grammar book must be in labor. It keeps talking about contractions"
  • Josh [After Dad picked a crumb off Josh's shirt]"Dad, you're like a parasite, cleaning me."
  • Anna[Watching Dorothy's friends break her out of the wicked witch's castle]: "Well. That's why you always keep your axe with ya."
  • Josh: "I wonder if there are any tornadoes at the campground we're going to."
    Anna: "Yes. There are. I know. I checked on E-Bay."

  • Mom: "Mmmm, Josh. You smell really good. Are you wearing cologne?"
    Josh: "Wait. My.....Clone Trooper, you mean?"

  • Mom: "I delivered all four of these kids. The least they can do is let me have the rest of the dill pickle potato chips!"
  • Josh: "You're a weak-aholic!"
    Dad: "A weakaholic?!"
    Josh: "Yeah. You're addicted to being weak!"

  • Dad: [After listening to the long piano intro to Chicago's Does anybody really know what time it is?] "I don't like that dissident music. It's all crazy and off time."
    Anna: "I like it! 'Cuz that's how I play!"

  • Paul: "So according to this book kids, who shot JFK?"
    Josh: "Lee Elvis Hardwell?"

  • Paul: "How Many Kings by Downhere is a perfect running song. The beat is just my pace."
    Jen: "Oh yeah? My song is Canon in D."

  • Anna[while washing herself in the shower]: "Hmmmmm. Arms are helpful."
  • Anna [Seeing Mom running water in the kitchen sink]: "Hey! You want to pay bills?!"
    Mom: "Huh?"
    Anna: "You're wasting!"

  • Josh: "Mom, can I play Mario?"
    Mom: "No Josh. Today is craft day. We're doing stuff for someone."
    Josh: "Yeah. I was gonna beat the game for Dad."

  • Anna: [Laying in bed, in a depressed voice]"Naomi, what do I do with life?"
    Naomi: "Uhh...how about you go to sleep?"

  • Mom: "Weird, I've always heard that song differently. But hey, what am I?"
    Anna: "A human being!"

  • Anna: [After being told to eat her dinner]"Mom, I took two bites! You can see the ground!"
  • Josh: "Man, I want to go to a casino."
    Mom: "What?!"
    Josh: "Wait. Is casino the same as gazebo?"

  • Jen to the kids: "Guys, don't forget toppings for your salad. The more colors on your salad, the better it is for you."
    Josh: "Even if it has Superman ice cream on it?!"

  • Anna"Huh? Craig has a list?"
  • Anna"Naomi, can you look at your calendar with your eyes closed?"
    Naomi"No. No one can, silly."
    Anna"Chuck Norris can!!"

  • Mom"Thanks to Naomi, who passed her headache on to me."
    Naomi"Pastor Headache? Who's Pastor Headache?!"

  • Darefamily: “Night, Pete. Night, Naomi. Night, Mom. Night, Dad...”
    Anna: “Night, vision!”

  • Anna: “Dad, do you believe in Santa?”
    Dad: “Sure, St. Nicholas was at the council of Nicea. He punched Arius in the mouth for his heresy…”
    Anna: “Hmmmm…I don’t remember seeing that in the video…”

  • Pete: "Josh, you know what the Pope is, right?"
    Josh: "Yeah. The stuff in the orange juice."

  • Anna: "Yeah! Let's get this starty parted!"
  • Josh"Bummer Mom, you're not ticklish. But I can still hurt you, because your nervous system is working!"
  • Josh"Sorry Grandma, I don't really like antiques...unless they have up to date stuff."
  • Naomi:"I'm not sure what I'm more afraid of, a whale or a shark, 'cuz I know how to fight a shark, 'cuz they're really weak in the eyes..."
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    No Dial tone on other phones after U-Verse Install?

    Hey all – I was helping a family member a few weeks ago with their U-verse install. They ordered the gateway, had the service “turned on” and opted to do the self-install.  Everything pretty much worked fine (internet, dial tone on main phone and wi-fi) but we couldn’t get dial tone to the other phones in the house.  I read several very helpful message boards and troubleshooting sites and finally figured out what I needed to do. The main line needs to come into the house and go directly to the jack that you’re going to plug the green cable into that then plugs into the gateway.  Then from there, you’ll need to run a standard phone line out of the back of the gateway from the “Phone 1 and 2” jack to a new jack that you’ll install near the main jack the green cable goes to. This new jack should run down to your basement (depending on how you have your house wired of course) and connect to a simple wiring junction box that ties all of your other phone lines together. That should give them all dial tone. You should be able to plug a phone into the “Aux” jack on the back of the gateway as well if you wanted a phone near your gateway (not to call AT&T as that will just make you mad 🙂 ). Here’s a simple diagram to show what I did –

    Where I have the yellow (Ethernet), green (U-verse) and black (RJ11 phone line) lines going on the back of the gateway, in my diagram above is not exact.  I’ll make sure to check where I terminated the two RJ11 lines next time I’m at this house as I might have put the phone into the “Aux” jack and the new jack that goes back to the basement into the “Phone 1&2” jack on the gateway.  If you don’t get dial tone when you do this, just swap those two cables on the back of the gateway and it should work.  Obviously put the Ethernet cable in the first Ethernet jack it will go into and match the green cable to the green jack on the gateway.  You can get any wiring you need, the simple RJ11 junction box and any splitters you need at any department store or one of the big boxes for about $5-$10.

    If you have any problems, drop me a comment and I’d be glad to walk you through it.


    3 Responses

    1. I cannot tell exactly what you did, and I am trying to duplicate your setup.

      • Barry – are you still stuck? I can help you if you are still trying to get the u-verse up and running. let me know. -paul

        • I got my problem solved – at at&t technician came out. I tried to follow what he did, but I am not sure what he did in the basement where the cable from the TNI comes into the house. The at&t instructions that came with the modem and UPS are not explicit. My setup – two phone cables with 3 phones, DSL, and answering machine – is not different from most. The two cables have their R and G wires connected in the basement. When I plugged a phone cable form “line 1 & 2” back to my phone cables (in parallel with the green data cable), the Broadband light immediately turned red. There is nothing in the instructions about splitting two wires of the 4 into another jack. I tried that, and I got dial-tone on that cable but not on the other cable to which the other two phones were connected. The RG wires were being used for data, and both cables had their RR and GG wires connected in the basement. The BY wires were not connected, and I tried to connect YY and BB wires together. That did not work. The terminal block in the basement is original 1951 equipment with old lightning arrestors.. And three videos on the at&t web site told me to go to the TNI and disconnect the cable. I knew that that is how the phone/.data signal enters the house, so I knew that that was wrong. I have no idea in what case that would be the correct procedure.
          –Barry Finkel

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