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  • Heard in the Dare House

  • Naomi"Mom, isn't the Charleston that dance on that show Fresh Prince...or....?"
  • Pete"We should all act out a Shakespeare play. Maybe Macbeth?"
    Anna "Oh! I want to play MacMeth!"

  • Josh"Owe! I bit my tongue!"
    Mom "That's not part of dinner, dude."
    Josh"I know. That's why I didn't bite it off, Michael Tyson"

  • Dad "Josh, do you know who Mike Tyson bit?"
    Josh"Uuuhh...yeah...like... Leonard Skimmer?"

  • Anna [When we were all talking about love languages, Dad explains how you can change over your life]"Oh yeah, totally. 'Cause I used to be into drawing."
  • Anna [after falling off her bike]"I'm OK! I don't need the arcade kit!"
  • Dad [Getting ready to give a gift to the girls for their piano recital]"Alright girls, we're going to do something that's long overdue."
    Anna "Ha. Probably taxes..."

  • Josh [After reading Peter's sign that said, "DJ takes requests, and tips] "Hey. I have a tip for you. If people don't like the song you're playing, you should change it."
  • Anna "Sometimes I look around and think, I am Anna...and these are other people..."
  • Josh "Listen. You give me the Simon's Quest code and I'll shop in the women's section!"
  • Josh "You smell like an air freshener, Mom."
    Dad "oh Josh those are kind of cheap so that sounds like you’re kind of insulting Mom when you say that."
    Josh "MMMMmmmm…you smell like a $100 air freshener."

  • Anna "Mom. Where’s the first Bible ever. Like ever."
    Mom "Ummm, I’m not sure. But maybe you could ask Dad about that"
    Anna "Well. I was gonna, but I didn’t want to get a whole sermon…so I asked you"

  • Dad "Hmm. These chips taste stale."
    Mom "They're not stale. They're just from Aldi."

  • Naomi "Look Mom! My foot is bigger than Anna's whole face!"
  • Peter [Interrupting Mom quizzing Naomi on Science by asking, "What's inside the membrane of a cell?"] "...Insane?"
  • Anna [Seeing Almonso Wilder grab Laura Ingles' engagement ring from the kitchen on Little House] "Hmph. He just grabbed a chill pill."
  • Josh "Dad, my grammar book must be in labor. It keeps talking about contractions"
  • Josh [After Dad picked a crumb off Josh's shirt]"Dad, you're like a parasite, cleaning me."
  • Anna[Watching Dorothy's friends break her out of the wicked witch's castle]: "Well. That's why you always keep your axe with ya."
  • Josh: "I wonder if there are any tornadoes at the campground we're going to."
    Anna: "Yes. There are. I know. I checked on E-Bay."

  • Mom: "Mmmm, Josh. You smell really good. Are you wearing cologne?"
    Josh: "Wait. My.....Clone Trooper, you mean?"

  • Mom: "I delivered all four of these kids. The least they can do is let me have the rest of the dill pickle potato chips!"
  • Josh: "You're a weak-aholic!"
    Dad: "A weakaholic?!"
    Josh: "Yeah. You're addicted to being weak!"

  • Dad: [After listening to the long piano intro to Chicago's Does anybody really know what time it is?] "I don't like that dissident music. It's all crazy and off time."
    Anna: "I like it! 'Cuz that's how I play!"

  • Paul: "So according to this book kids, who shot JFK?"
    Josh: "Lee Elvis Hardwell?"

  • Paul: "How Many Kings by Downhere is a perfect running song. The beat is just my pace."
    Jen: "Oh yeah? My song is Canon in D."

  • Anna[while washing herself in the shower]: "Hmmmmm. Arms are helpful."
  • Anna [Seeing Mom running water in the kitchen sink]: "Hey! You want to pay bills?!"
    Mom: "Huh?"
    Anna: "You're wasting!"

  • Josh: "Mom, can I play Mario?"
    Mom: "No Josh. Today is craft day. We're doing stuff for someone."
    Josh: "Yeah. I was gonna beat the game for Dad."

  • Anna: [Laying in bed, in a depressed voice]"Naomi, what do I do with life?"
    Naomi: "Uhh...how about you go to sleep?"

  • Mom: "Weird, I've always heard that song differently. But hey, what am I?"
    Anna: "A human being!"

  • Anna: [After being told to eat her dinner]"Mom, I took two bites! You can see the ground!"
  • Josh: "Man, I want to go to a casino."
    Mom: "What?!"
    Josh: "Wait. Is casino the same as gazebo?"

  • Jen to the kids: "Guys, don't forget toppings for your salad. The more colors on your salad, the better it is for you."
    Josh: "Even if it has Superman ice cream on it?!"

  • Anna"Huh? Craig has a list?"
  • Anna"Naomi, can you look at your calendar with your eyes closed?"
    Naomi"No. No one can, silly."
    Anna"Chuck Norris can!!"

  • Mom"Thanks to Naomi, who passed her headache on to me."
    Naomi"Pastor Headache? Who's Pastor Headache?!"

  • Darefamily: “Night, Pete. Night, Naomi. Night, Mom. Night, Dad...”
    Anna: “Night, vision!”

  • Anna: “Dad, do you believe in Santa?”
    Dad: “Sure, St. Nicholas was at the council of Nicea. He punched Arius in the mouth for his heresy…”
    Anna: “Hmmmm…I don’t remember seeing that in the video…”

  • Pete: "Josh, you know what the Pope is, right?"
    Josh: "Yeah. The stuff in the orange juice."

  • Anna: "Yeah! Let's get this starty parted!"
  • Josh"Bummer Mom, you're not ticklish. But I can still hurt you, because your nervous system is working!"
  • Josh"Sorry Grandma, I don't really like antiques...unless they have up to date stuff."
  • Naomi:"I'm not sure what I'm more afraid of, a whale or a shark, 'cuz I know how to fight a shark, 'cuz they're really weak in the eyes..."
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    Bronner’s Trip

    2014-09-05 15.38.08

    ” ‘Tis the season to go to Bronners!

    2014-09-05 14.47.17

    2014-09-05 13.42.04

    We’re sorry if that scarred you forever Josh.


    Small Group

    We love our small group…

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    This past Sunday was a great small group meeting.  We met and talked about the good news that Jesus gives us the two exact things that we need;

    1. Forgiveness – From our sin.

    2. Righteousness – So we can stand before God.

    We celebrated a birthday, made Tinkerbell fly, flipped some kids in the hammock, played some music on the leather chairs and then launched a crazy game of ceiling fan balloon dodge game (or something like that).

    Thank you to our host family and for everyone who came, shared and interacted around the amazing love of our Savior.  Look forward to doing it again in April!

    -The Dares

    Props to Canton, MI Public Library!

    2013-01-10 19.02.36You rock, Canton, MI. Here’s why. I’ve been to the megaplex Southfield library, the William Faust Westland library and the very nice Plymouth library and all of them barely have a selection of actual Christian literature.  They may each have a “Spiritual” or “Inspirational” section, but even those sections have an anemic selection of actual Christian literature.  Now, before you think I’m a self-centered naive Christian who thinks that public institutions should serve my interests, hear me out.  I’m not saying that public libraries, funded by tax payer dollars, must have my books.  What I am saying is that if tax payers are funding great institutions like libraries, then the literature in them should represent the culture around them.  I’m fine with all the new-age spirituality, romance novels and secular humanism packed on the shelves.  All I’m saying is give the Christian genre equal shelf space.  And Canton does it!  There is at least one huge aisle packed with great Christian literature both old and new.  You do have to weed through the good, bad and ugly, but there is actual good.  Sadly, this is not what I’ve found at the other libraries in our area.

    So, thank you Canton Public Library.  Keep up the good work and I’ll keep my late fines coming your way.  😉


    Looking back over 2012

    “I will recount the gracious deeds of the Lord, the praiseworthy acts of the Lord, because of all that the Lord has done for us”  Isaiah 63:7 (RSV)

    end_of_year_recap_2The Lord was good to us in 2012.  We were all healthy, I stayed employed,   our kids kept up with their studies, one of them jumped into the public school system for the first time.  We camped as a family for the first time in the summer.  Our oldest daughter let some girl at the mall poke holes in her ears.  We welcomed a teenager into our family.  We donated our first car and the Lord provided a new one from some missionaries who needed to get rid of theirs so they could get back to the field.  We saw some amazing things happen in the lives of friends and families.  We watched God “raise” a one year old named Truman, from the dead.  Naomi exploded in her piano playing and Anna joined her in taking lessons.  I took a trip to Rochester, NY and Atlanta, GA for work and was protected the entire way.  My sister’s husband returned safely from Afghanistan.  Our Pastor finished an outstanding preaching series on the book of Acts.  The company I worked for (Global Crossing) was purchased by a similar company named Level 3 Communications.  We started geocaching.  Paul got a raging case of poison ivy and had my first experience with oral steroids ( 😦 ).  The Pretty Painter launched her online gallery and sold her first painting.    Our dryer broke twice and we were able to fix it instead of having to replace it twice!  I was able to preach a few times at our church.  I also was able to help with “Take your Kids to Work Day” for the first time.  We got to see Jen’s extended family at the Shepherd family reunion.  Jen got a grain mill and starting making the best food in the world with freshly, home-ground wheat and flour.  Jen did a ton of work on our budget and was the most incredibly supportive wife and mother a husband could ever ask for.

    I greatly look forward to what God will start, continue and finish in 2013.

    “The Lord has done this and it is marvelous in our eyes.”  – Psalm 118:23



    Glory Days

    Aside from the fact that I look 12 years old on my new-hire access badge, peeling back the layers yesterday did make me thankful for 12 years of employment at Global Crossing / Level 3 –

    That first badge pic in four words: More Hair, Less Fat.  -paul

    New “Heard in the Dare house” quotes

    Dare Kids Presidential Reports

    Back on the week of February 20th, we had the kids each pick one U.S. President to research and write a report on for school.  Here are their reports in order from oldest to youngest (children, not presidents) –

    Peter’s report on Chester Arthur (yes, an actual President of the U.S.)

    Naomi on John Tyler

    Josh on George Washington

    Anna on Abraham Lincoln

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