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  • Heard in the Dare House

  • Naomi"Mom, isn't the Charleston that dance on that show Fresh Prince...or....?"
  • Pete"We should all act out a Shakespeare play. Maybe Macbeth?"
    Anna "Oh! I want to play MacMeth!"

  • Josh"Owe! I bit my tongue!"
    Mom "That's not part of dinner, dude."
    Josh"I know. That's why I didn't bite it off, Michael Tyson"

  • Dad "Josh, do you know who Mike Tyson bit?"
    Josh"Uuuhh...yeah...like... Leonard Skimmer?"

  • Anna [When we were all talking about love languages, Dad explains how you can change over your life]"Oh yeah, totally. 'Cause I used to be into drawing."
  • Anna [after falling off her bike]"I'm OK! I don't need the arcade kit!"
  • Dad [Getting ready to give a gift to the girls for their piano recital]"Alright girls, we're going to do something that's long overdue."
    Anna "Ha. Probably taxes..."

  • Josh [After reading Peter's sign that said, "DJ takes requests, and tips] "Hey. I have a tip for you. If people don't like the song you're playing, you should change it."
  • Anna "Sometimes I look around and think, I am Anna...and these are other people..."
  • Josh "Listen. You give me the Simon's Quest code and I'll shop in the women's section!"
  • Josh "You smell like an air freshener, Mom."
    Dad "oh Josh those are kind of cheap so that sounds like you’re kind of insulting Mom when you say that."
    Josh "MMMMmmmm…you smell like a $100 air freshener."

  • Anna "Mom. Where’s the first Bible ever. Like ever."
    Mom "Ummm, I’m not sure. But maybe you could ask Dad about that"
    Anna "Well. I was gonna, but I didn’t want to get a whole sermon…so I asked you"

  • Dad "Hmm. These chips taste stale."
    Mom "They're not stale. They're just from Aldi."

  • Naomi "Look Mom! My foot is bigger than Anna's whole face!"
  • Peter [Interrupting Mom quizzing Naomi on Science by asking, "What's inside the membrane of a cell?"] "...Insane?"
  • Anna [Seeing Almonso Wilder grab Laura Ingles' engagement ring from the kitchen on Little House] "Hmph. He just grabbed a chill pill."
  • Josh "Dad, my grammar book must be in labor. It keeps talking about contractions"
  • Josh [After Dad picked a crumb off Josh's shirt]"Dad, you're like a parasite, cleaning me."
  • Anna[Watching Dorothy's friends break her out of the wicked witch's castle]: "Well. That's why you always keep your axe with ya."
  • Josh: "I wonder if there are any tornadoes at the campground we're going to."
    Anna: "Yes. There are. I know. I checked on E-Bay."

  • Mom: "Mmmm, Josh. You smell really good. Are you wearing cologne?"
    Josh: "Wait. My.....Clone Trooper, you mean?"

  • Mom: "I delivered all four of these kids. The least they can do is let me have the rest of the dill pickle potato chips!"
  • Josh: "You're a weak-aholic!"
    Dad: "A weakaholic?!"
    Josh: "Yeah. You're addicted to being weak!"

  • Dad: [After listening to the long piano intro to Chicago's Does anybody really know what time it is?] "I don't like that dissident music. It's all crazy and off time."
    Anna: "I like it! 'Cuz that's how I play!"

  • Paul: "So according to this book kids, who shot JFK?"
    Josh: "Lee Elvis Hardwell?"

  • Paul: "How Many Kings by Downhere is a perfect running song. The beat is just my pace."
    Jen: "Oh yeah? My song is Canon in D."

  • Anna[while washing herself in the shower]: "Hmmmmm. Arms are helpful."
  • Anna [Seeing Mom running water in the kitchen sink]: "Hey! You want to pay bills?!"
    Mom: "Huh?"
    Anna: "You're wasting!"

  • Josh: "Mom, can I play Mario?"
    Mom: "No Josh. Today is craft day. We're doing stuff for someone."
    Josh: "Yeah. I was gonna beat the game for Dad."

  • Anna: [Laying in bed, in a depressed voice]"Naomi, what do I do with life?"
    Naomi: "Uhh...how about you go to sleep?"

  • Mom: "Weird, I've always heard that song differently. But hey, what am I?"
    Anna: "A human being!"

  • Anna: [After being told to eat her dinner]"Mom, I took two bites! You can see the ground!"
  • Josh: "Man, I want to go to a casino."
    Mom: "What?!"
    Josh: "Wait. Is casino the same as gazebo?"

  • Jen to the kids: "Guys, don't forget toppings for your salad. The more colors on your salad, the better it is for you."
    Josh: "Even if it has Superman ice cream on it?!"

  • Anna"Huh? Craig has a list?"
  • Anna"Naomi, can you look at your calendar with your eyes closed?"
    Naomi"No. No one can, silly."
    Anna"Chuck Norris can!!"

  • Mom"Thanks to Naomi, who passed her headache on to me."
    Naomi"Pastor Headache? Who's Pastor Headache?!"

  • Darefamily: “Night, Pete. Night, Naomi. Night, Mom. Night, Dad...”
    Anna: “Night, vision!”

  • Anna: “Dad, do you believe in Santa?”
    Dad: “Sure, St. Nicholas was at the council of Nicea. He punched Arius in the mouth for his heresy…”
    Anna: “Hmmmm…I don’t remember seeing that in the video…”

  • Pete: "Josh, you know what the Pope is, right?"
    Josh: "Yeah. The stuff in the orange juice."

  • Anna: "Yeah! Let's get this starty parted!"
  • Josh"Bummer Mom, you're not ticklish. But I can still hurt you, because your nervous system is working!"
  • Josh"Sorry Grandma, I don't really like antiques...unless they have up to date stuff."
  • Naomi:"I'm not sure what I'm more afraid of, a whale or a shark, 'cuz I know how to fight a shark, 'cuz they're really weak in the eyes..."


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    • Seen it all (?)

    Posted on May 3, 2010 by Paul and/or Jennifer Dare

    Our mouths literally hung open as we watched and listened to this hilarious, unbelievable, sad and annoying infomercial:

    Is this an attempt to offer a much-needed product for the elderly or the epitomy of laziness?

    Filed under: Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , | 4 Comments »

    Private Eyes, they’re watching you!

    Posted on March 18, 2010 by Paul and/or Jennifer Dare

    Looks like Hall and Oates are the least of our worries these days.  I’m not sure if this video is scary, funny or over-hyped alarmism.

    But thought provoking?  Definitely!

    – Let me know what you think  –

    One things for sure: I never saw the end coming.  Now I know how Obi-Wan felt.

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    Filed under: Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , | Leave a comment »

    • Come Visit Us!

      Jennifer Paul Dare

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      17 minutes from Comerica Park, 15 minutes from Metro Airport, and 14 from Henry Ford museum. You don't even have to call first! (Oh wait, Jen said, "yes you do.")

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    • Notable quotable

    • "Better a mom’s bleeding tongue than a son’s badgered heart." -Karen Ehman
    • "Being different is not legalism - legalism is when you try to earn your way to God through your good works - it's just holy living." -Laura Mouro
    • "I think the devil has made it his business to monopolize on three elements:
      noise, hurry and crowds . Satan is quite aware of the power of silence."-Jim Elliot

    • "I have learned that God’s silence to my questions is not a door slammed in my face. I may not have the answers—but I do have him."-Dave Dravecky
    • "Sin makes government necessary; sin also makes it necessary that government be limited."-Paul Edwards
    • "I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen not only because I see it but because by it I see everything else."-CS Lewis
    • "Being a stay at home Mom is much like recovering from an addiction. An addiction to thinking it's all about me"-Abbey Bertolone
    • "It is better to be without bread in your houses than without Bibles, for the words of God's mouth are and should be to you more than your necessary food. But what will it avail you to have Bibles in your houses, if you do not use them? To have the great things of God's law and gospel written to you, if you count them as a strange thing? You look daily into your shop-books, and perhaps converse much with the news books, and shall your Bibles be thrown by as an almanac out of date?"
      -Matthew Henry

    • Biblical definition of marriage: "...two sinful people pledging to live together with all of their faults, for the rest of their lives"
      -Gary Thomas in Sacred Marriage

    • "The gospel teaches a "new way to be human," which, in reality, is nothing more than returning to the "old way to be human," the way that God had originally ordained before sin. " -Eric Rauch

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